A Day in the Life of.. Jonathan "JPK" Farrer

Update

2008-03-14T11:16:00.001-07:00

Sorry y'all.. been a little busy with various things recently. After my trip back to the UK to get a new passport I managed to pick up some literature that was very self-motivating towards poker. It allowed me to sit down and reassess what I wanted to achieve and to push the limits like never before. So I set myself a challenge. A ludicrous, ridiculous challenge that I had no chance of reaching, but I set it nonetheless. $200,000 profit in 4 months. If I don't hit it, I don't go to the WSOP, it's that simple.

Now I'm usually good for $15-20k a month which is fantastic, but unless you set new goals you become stagnant, in business & life. However, the PokerGods were not in on my goal as they punished me worse than I've ever seen. I ran worse than Jonny Vegas halfway through a London Marathon. I've managed to claw it back in the past week though, and I now stand at +$11,000 after 30 days. Erm, think I'm gonna have to hit a big one. But then again, why not? I'm also intending to up the ante with the stakes that I'm playing, as I may venture above $500 SNGs which are usually the highest I go. I've dropped my highest stake a little lower in the past few weeks for obvious reasons.

Other than that bills are paid & there's money in the bank. Car. Condo. Nice weather. Life could be worse, so I won't bitch. I think I've been doing far too much of that lately considering my position in the world. Time to walk around with a smile like I should be.

GL at the tables,
JPK

Isn't it funny..

2008-02-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

..how variance in poker coincides with variance in life? Upswings and downswings, side by side... strange.. in the UK right now.. back to Tampa on Monday.. will post a full update when I stop losing my ass on a daily basis..

New Betfair article up

2008-01-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

Variance..

http://site.poker.betfair.com/newsandviews/article/itemId/i65767651/index.html

A good few days and pix of my new car..

2008-01-12T21:01:00.001-08:00

$11k up in the past 5 days from very little play, whether that's good variance kicking in, or the calm before the storm I'm really not sure right now but I'll ride with it anyway. But one thing's for sure long term I really need to grind more. 1000 SNG per month should be the minimum benchmark for any professional and I'm well short of that the past 12 months. I don't practice what I preach a lot of the time and I need to turn the corner starting, well, tomorrow. Which I will.

That said, the $11k came in handy after I purchased this little demon a couple of days ago:

I'll have condo pix up in 2 weeks, it's not quite finished yet, hence the delay, if anyone cares.

Also it appears, including myself, that poker bloggers in general are neglecting their blogs. I've got no doubts facebook is the cause, so if you'd like to add me, do a search for Jonathan Farrer from the Manchester network. I'll try to be less tardy (that's right, I said tardy, too much time in the states) here, and thanks so much for all the comments and emails guys, especially the car advice. I just felt getting a Porsche whilst learning to drive on the other side of the road was a little too indulgent :-)

Regards,
JPK

A new year and a good start

2008-01-08T15:55:00.000-08:00

Played twice since the turn of the year, for a profit of around $5500. Can't ask for more than that. Hands holding up can be a pretty nice thing every now and again. Hopefully I can really turn the screw in the next few weeks and I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. I've been playing so much better than my opponents for months now without reward, so it's time for variance to kick in.

I fly home on the 31st for around 10 days as I need to renew my passport and get some finances in order. Then, back "home" to Tampa for some, erm, hot weather.

I am test driving a BMW Z4 & Porsche Boxster tomorrow.. hey, we all need to spend a little on indulgence every once in a while, don't we?

Pix of the condo coming in the next post.

Regards,
JPK

Sorry, sorry, sorry..

2008-01-02T20:42:00.000-08:00

Yes I know, another lapse in updates but what can I say.. I've been busy. I'm not like all you fuckers with hours to spare reading nonsensical poker blogs online. Just kidding, honest. Anyway.. I'm settled in Tampa now, my place is pretty much fixed up (pix forthcoming), and beginning to make friends and the phone book is filling up.. all is coolio..

2007 was a weird year. I'm sure I'll look back at a later date and think it was absolutely fantastic, but right now it's a "what might have been". I have no reason to complain though the last 6 months, financially, haven't been amazing. Personally, they're getting better. I also managed to get a haircut. But I shall forever be the pirate king, just sans bandana..

So I've been pretty quiet, both in blogland and to those that know me. I'd like to say it's not purposefully, but if you read this blog you'll know that's not the 100% truth. However, poker is the main agenda now, and I'll be hitting the tables full force up until the end of May. I don't envision me going to Vegas, but you never know.

Aims for 2008 in no particular order:

£10,000 profit per month MINIMUM including rakeback (providing I don't run like I have been doing)
Play as few live tournaments as humanly possible
Play more online MTTs, they really are a huge strength yet I continue to be tardy with them
Get a better tan
Move upto 13st, 10% bodyfat
Less alcohol
More girls

Basically, keep on the road I am currently, without the sarcasm of course.

My new dead weight, erm, I mean protege, "EricKGB" (Betfair) has started a blog, http://erickgbpoker.blogspot.com - so check that out for lots of moaning about bad beats and stuff..

Another update when I have time to think..

Regards
JPK

Small update

2007-11-21T11:19:00.000-08:00

The condo is coming along nicely but taking longer than expected. However I'm settling in well, although have not played much poker. In fact since Nov 10th I've played 5 SNGs, winning all of them, LOL.

I decided I will continue this blog, I had too many positive messages via email not to.. surprisingly most came from people I don't know, rather than people I do. I think that just reinforces what I said in my previous post. It's all good, at least I know where I stand now.

I'll post some pictures up of the finished article sometime weekend next. I've been thinking of naming the Condo "Fish Towers", in honour of all those who helped pay for it, but I will resist putting JPK lettering on the front door, and trust me, I almost decided to do it, how much of a mark am I? :-)

Regards,
JPK

PS I have added a link for Dial-A-Dealer, which is an independent start-up company that provides dealers/equipment for private poker functions. It is run by a friend of the family. So if you are planning (or want to plan) your own poker event, be sure to check them out and see what they can do for you.

Messenger = Blokkado; Back in Tampa

2007-11-11T13:31:00.000-08:00

Well I'm back in Florida and the 3 weeks I was forced to spend in the UK was beyond depressing. I did manage to have a fun weekend in London watching NFL inbetween, but that aside it was extremely dull. Weather is high 70s here, I'll take that!

I close the condo on Monday and it will be fully furbished by Wednesday. It'll be another week after that until it's kitted out with all my stuff but it should be fun nonetheless. I'll be sure to post some pictures up towards the end of next week.

Onto poker and I have a decision that probably not many people will care about but I will print it here so everyone who knows me, knows. I have decided to pretty much block everyone I know in poker from Messenger (& stop posting on forums as an added extra, I get approx. zero out of it for my time), and nearly full stop from my life. Over the past couple of months I've spoken less and less to people in the same profession and the results have been astounding. I'm not going out and blowing ridiculous amounts of money, not being tempted by gambling and a copius amount of other things including actually WINNING.

Messenger is the big one though. The attitude of some of you people on there is ridiculous. If you're doing your conkers, on tilt, angry etc. TURN MESSENGER THE FUCK OFF. If you are online, people who know you may decide to contact you now and again. It's not exactly pleasant to message people who you think are your friends and be told where to go amongst other things. It's obvious you are not in the talking mood, so why hang around and bite people's heads off? Seriously, go and fuck yourselves you selfish bastards. I get people I know messaging me moaning all the time too, but I don't turn around and tell them to piss off because things aren't going well because they obviously want to get it off their chest and if I can help that's fine, as long as they don't abuse the priviledge.

But now, 95% of you can do one, basically. It's nothing personal, I have just realised I don't have time for the majority of people I know in poker. I used to, but your stinking attitudes have made me think fuck it. I could count the amount of real friends in poker on one hand and that's a stretch. The bottom line is I don't need you, and you don't need me. You are not my real friends and if you are, I will remain in contact with you. Otherwise you can hit me up on Facebook or something.

It's time to get ruthless and I am giving my full focus and energy to the tables and not the social/friends side of it. I have a life away from the game now and I don't have time for anyone who doesn't give a shit about my status and progress, which is safe to say, most of you.

Sorry if that makes me sound like an arse because I'm not. I've just decided that from now on, for the majority anyway, I am business-only for poker and nothing else. The handful of people that I conider my friends should know who you are, and that this doesn't apply to you. I'm not even sure of the status of this blog in terms of poker updates anymore, I'll have a think about whether I want to continue it.

Good Luck,
JPK

PS If you (still) want to contact me for whatever reason, you can do so via Facebook "Jonathan Farrer" in the Manchester network, or jfarrer69 at aol dot com.

Not much to report

2007-11-01T18:59:00.000-07:00

I didn't make it 12 wins in a row but I pretty much broke even and then had a couple of small winning days. Not played as much due to my eventful London trip but the next week should see a grind before I head back out to Tampa to close the condo, the finances are all in place but some paperwork needs to be finalised. After that I've got to do the place up.. and I'm not sure if I'm staying for Christmas/New Year.

It's nice to have stuff other than poker going on as it gives my life a bit of purpose, sometimes playing poker all day everyday, even if you're WINNING, can leave you simply drifting. I'm beginning to diversify my time into investigating other investments and opportunities as I feel there's a lot to be made in foreign real estate & currency right now, but without grinding the bread & butter of poker I won't have any money to invest, so I guess that's where my loyalties lie.

Expenditure is going to be very small over the next year once the condo is kitted out (which will cost around $7k) so hopefully I can save up some money and look at other things. Or, I could win the big one and buy a place in 5th Ave. NY, or Kensington, London :D

JPK

PS Lewis - Thanks, appreciate it. Are you the same guy I met at the BF/Caesar's part at Harrah's after WSOP?

PPS Badger - online is okay to get an idea of housing.. but not Google... try Yahoo "Miami Real Estate", but it's all area dependant - I'd advise a condo over a townhouse due to the easier upkeep and the fact condos are far more trendy and easier to sell in affluent places which is where you should be looking. Tampa is 4 1/2 hours away so I can't give you specific advice but realtors out there are in a different league to the arseholly estate agents here and whoever you choose is likely to do a stellar job. It did take me a good month or so scoping out the place and referring to several trusted friends in the area to direct me to the type of property I wanted, both socially and appreciatively speaking. I advise your dad spend a while out there and buy in a well known area as buying out in the sticks may not guarantee a return on investment. The USD is only likely to rise in the near future, so buying within 2-3 months would be a good timeframe.

I did it!

2007-10-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

In style, 4 successive 4 figure wins, 11 straight winning days, can't ask for much more after the run from hell. Going to shove another £10k in my USA bank account considering the SICK rate (which you can check here: http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/fds/hi/business/market_data/currency/default.stm), I already stuck $90k+ in last week so my money is really tied up, and purposely so that I can't go donking off on high limit. This run won't last forever but after such a sick couple of months, why not have a complete 180 the next few months?

I also had a nice surprise today when I was offered tickets to the NFL game at Wembley, so I've treated myself to 1st class train and a night at the Wembley Hilton Plaza. Good times.

JPK

PS New article will be up soon at http://poker.betfair.com

Bored, and extremely happy to be so..

2007-10-24T13:09:00.001-07:00

The last two days I've played short sessions and cashed for a total of $4000 before coming off totally contented. I've won the last 9 days I have played. Bad news: I'm in England with sod bugger all to do. Could be worse I guess, since I'm back off to Florida in 3 weeks to my plush new condo (you can see pix, albeit a bit flimsy, in the previous post).

Really just amazing how things can look so bad you are destitute, and switches in an instant. I'm not sure I've ever had ten winning days in a row, but you can bet your arse I'm going to try and keep this run going whatever it takes.

Tampa Condo Pix

2007-10-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Back in the UK after purchasing a condo in Tampa, Florida, USA

2007-10-20T20:01:00.001-07:00

Title says it all really. I finally nailed something down and it represents a good investment. I'll let you check out the pictures which will appear somewhere in the post, I'm not exactly sure where due to my poor editing skills, but anyway.. it's a one bedroom in what is known to be a very affluent area in Tampa, Florida named SOHO/HYDE PARK. Pool, spa, sauna, 2 parking spots within the complex and a storage unit (together worth $25k alone) for a grand sum of $203,000. It's what I wanted, so appreciation aside I am happy with it. Given there's a Publix (a more upmarket store in the US) opening literally 20 metres from the complex which should see the property immediately rise 10% I'm a happy chappy. Why anyone would buy in the UK right now, is beyond me, when this is what you have on offer for £100,000 (wherever the pix may appear..):

EDIT: I'll have to upload them later as there's a problem with blogger.com currently..

Poker-wise, the last 6 days I've played I've won circa $4000. Due to some other investments it has unfortunately not counted for a whole lot, but things could be worse. I'm really going to hit the grind the next month.

Regards,
JPK

4 winning days in a row!

2007-10-10T15:18:00.000-07:00

Albeit small (that's what she said) it all helps. Won around $2000 over 4 days but it, as always, could've been so much more. Today especially I was robbed many times, but a win is a win and I'll take it.

I wouldn't say my confidence has returned, but I'm beginning to feel far more comfortable again. Hopefully things continue to rise, and I don't have a major setback in the near future.

Personally, I've got just over another week left in Florida before I (temporarily) jet back home. Condo still isn't sorted, but hopefully we'll be in the 30-day closing period before I leave, so that I can make a swift return.

Will probably check out UKPT Blackpool, and try and nip all these mates of mine that are cashing for $1 million+, Julian Thew becoming the latest today, winning EPT Baden. Well done mate, as I said, JPK is down with pink and brown! (And that isn't a sexual connotation)

Best
JPK

Making inroads

2007-10-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

Played for a few hours today, won $800. Hopefully onwards and upwards from here.

Small win

2007-10-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

Grinded out $400 profit today, it's hard not to think of the previous losses, but I have to think positive and at least the shit was temporarily curbed. Didn't play great, didn't play bad, standard SNG stuff so no complaints.

going to work very hard next week and WON'T hit 10/20 cash to chase, even though I'm good enough to beat it.

Done $7.5k this week

2007-10-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

Playing $100-200 SNGs. Chased last night on 10/20, got it in with a monster draw, missed naturally. Fine end to a wonderful week. Thank god I'm owed $2.5k in rakeback. The shit is seemingly neverending.

JPK

I feel like a smackhead..

2007-10-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

..because I'm fighting a losing battle everyday. It's gone way past the stage of variance. 2000+ SNGs and big stick shoved up my arse for the trouble, it doesn't get much worse than this (famous last words).

JPK

Plenty going on

2007-09-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

Interesting times here in Tampa. As I type this I'm chilling out in my king suite at the Hilton Garden Inn, which I got for next to nothing due to my mate working for the Hilton offices here. I just extended my flight a further month to October 18th due to the condo hunting getting underway. I'd have started much sooner, but another nightmare run put me in no mood to discuss parting with $200k as I had a run of 29 6-handed SNGs without a win, by far my worst ever run. But I've managed to turn it around so, ho-hum.

I spoke with a realtor today and I've lined up ten properties I like the look of in Central/Downtown Tampa. My mate Jason who is a land surveyor drove me around the area, ironically called SOHO of all names, and it was everything I am looking for. It is literally a stone's throw from the action, all the major sporting arenas and a short drive to all the beaches in the area e.g. Clearwater, St. Petersburg.

There was really no decision in deciding I wanted to plump for a stylish 1 bed-1 bath condo in an affluent area rather than a 2 bed-2 bath for $150k on the outskirts, factoring in I am a lazy bastard and the smaller the better (that's what she said) in terms of maintenance and the fact I can't legally live here (I could probably get away with staying here 6 months per year coming and going).

What's great about the condos here is that the complexes come with gyms, swimming pools, saunas, tennis courts and hot tubs as standard. it's really quite something. I am eyeing up a condo for around the $175k mark in an affluent, central area with all these key amenities, and it's a NICE place. What could $175k get you in the UK? A bucket of shit, is my guess. I would perhaps be able to buy a scummy place in somewhere like Blackburn, but why the fuck would I want to do that when Florida is so ridiculously cheap (before you factor in the shithot exchange rate), with so much to do you can never get bored. For example, next week I am spending a few days in Orlando to do the theme parks, then I am going to watch some NHL at Tampa Bay lightning, and a week on Sunday I'm going to see the Buccaneers vs. Rams in the NFL. I've already watched MLB (Devil Rays, cost a whopping $8), and NBA is over otherwise I'd be checking out Orlando Magic or Miami Heat. The beaches, nightlife, restaurants, just amazing.

On the health front I am better than ever. Eating well is not a problem here and I mean well as eating healthy. 24 hours a day, whatever you want. I have been hitting the gym pretty hard and I am up to 12st now and packing some muscle. The aim is to get upto 13st, 10% bodyfat in 12 months.

Poker, well, it's chugging along, and I guess I'll need to hit the grind so I can pay off my prospective condo ASAP.

Best,
JPK

Grinding away in Tampa, Florida

2007-09-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

Well, not really. Due to my laptop having issues with the connection here my poker has been limited to a handful of SNGs during the past week since landing, of which I've bubbled in 80% of them. Oh joy.

It's a really great place here and just shows how far we are behind the times in the UK. It's just the little things for e.g. I went to buy an iPod at the Apple store and was approached by a salesman. He went and got the iPod for me, so I took it and started to make my way to the checkout (see how I'm slowly becoming Americanised with my language?). "You can pay right here," he chimes up and pulls out this little PDA device with one of those computer pens which you can sign your name on the screen with (same applies in supermarkets). Card swiped and Bob's your uncle, I'm out of the door around 90 seconds after going in.

Our popularity is at an all-time high here; Gordon Brown seems to have made a good impression as Blair was seen as Bush' bitch and well, Bush isn't exactly up for Time magazine man of the year here. However he pales in comparison to David Beckham, his notoriety is just insane. Whenever I'm out and about it's all I'm asked about, he's sent USA football crazy (it will never, ever be SOCCER). It's literally available 24 hours a day on TV here, with pretty much every Premiership game available live, including Saturday afternoon games. He might be earning $50 million a year but even without playing, he's probably paying it back tenfold.

The food selection here is also really sick. We all know about the fast food and the fat bastard reputation USA has, but we went to Walmart and it's roughly 100x easier to eat healthy than the UK. 1kg of seedless grapes for $0.88. Ready made white albacore tuna for $1.10. Just ridiculous. It's really going to help with my fitness plan, as even with downing 10 Michelob Ultras a day I'm losing weight and toning up.

Adding in a multitude of factors I was already considering an investment in the property market here when I was informed I was visiting right in the middle of a market crash, with 1000s of condos and beachside resorts in foreclosure and generally going at rock bottom prices. For e.g. you can get a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo near the beach, with a gym and pool in the complex for under $200k, 10% deposit at 5%ish interest mortgage. Change from £250k in England? Unlikely. Added to the fact furniture, TVs et al are roughly 35% of the UK price on 0% interest multi-year payback plans it really is minimal outlay and maximum prospective return (especially given our current exchange rate). Oh, there's the bonus of living in Tampa, Florida which is by the (various number of) beaches, with an international airport 15 minutes away, and also 1 hour from Orlando, and a few hours from Miami/Key West etc.

So yeah, I'm currently weighing up the options. It would really work as it would put me under pressure and motivated to grind as hard as I can without leaving my finances limited. If for e.g. I am earning ave. $15k/month, I can just take $10k/month and put it towards the condo, and hopefully have it paid off in a year, then upgrade to a higher valued property; rinse and repeat OR buy another $200k property. It is certainly a far more lucrative proposition than getting myself on the ladder in the UK. Interesting times ahead for sure.

Uh, more poker talk next time, once I get the connection sorted.

Best,
JPK

Everything beginning to look up..

2007-08-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

..well, it couldn't have gotten much worse over past month or so. I've posted some nice winning days, although I had a run of 7 bubbles in a row on Saturday night all with the best hand, including a classic big stack vs. big stack clash AKs vs. AJo in a £200 sixpak with a J in the door, costing me a probable £800. I am sure these things will start going my way though so it's just a case of continuing to hammer it; it is totally frustrating though.

I head off to Tampa Bay on Tuesday, which should be fun. Weather reports are in the 90-100 range, so slightly better than Longridge. Try as I may to get myself in tip-top shape it hasn't worked out, 3 weeks of my new weightlifting and supplementation regime has come too late, but I'll be looking to continue whilst over there as my mate has a gym in his complex. Those of you who have known me for a long time will know I was around 14st, 30" waist when I was 20-ish and a keen bodybuilder, until I went to acting school where I trimmed down to 10st 4lbs (6% bodyfat). I'm now back upto 11st 6lbs, with the aim being to trim up a little more, then work my way upto 12st and see where I go from there. I think it's very important to have something like this in place when you are playing poker as it helps maintain a discipline and focus in your life away from the tables, which can only help on them. I'll be writing a column for Betfair Poker on this in the near future (I'm sure it'll go over well with all the pie monsters LOL).

Oh, and I'm 25 tomorrow. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Toodle pip,
JPK

Stephen Hawking, Johnny Vegas and Jo Brand..

2007-08-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

..all collectively run about as I good as I do. I know it's about 3 weeks since my blog entry but I just didn't have the strength. I suffered the biggest downswing/bad run of my 3 years in poker and I'm just coming out of it half-alive and it was no picnic I can assure you. I am just about on the verge of winning back the downswing (not including Vegas, obviously, but for my own sanity I am forgetting about that).

I really have had to earn my crust, and that's just to reclaim losses. Suffice to say I've not been in great moods lately, but I've been okay(ish). That is until some twonk in the gym decided to pick my brains about poker. After about the 20th time of referring to it as gambling, which I kept correcting him on, and him purposely continuing to call it gambling to wind me up in front of his mate I decided to show my maturity and kindly informed him how much I'd earned in poker in the past 2 years. I knew he worked in the local supermarket, which made it all the more satisfying.

However the bad run was a kindly reminder that you can't take your foot off the gas for one minute, which is why I booked myself on a 3 week trip to visit an old mate in the humble surroundings of Tampa Bay, Florida. Recently it's been very tough so I'm taking myself off to a kinder surrounding (I mean it's the middle of fucking August and it's raining in Preston). I'll still play poker in Florida, but it'll be 2-4 hours a day, and not 5-8 hours. I'll be trying to squeeze in trips to Orlando, Miami and some of the main beaches. But in general I'm just going to go to a pressure-free zone.

The aims are in place for the rest of the year and I'm pretty sure I'll achieve them with a few headaches along the way. And life isn't so bad, as I heard that Johnny Lodden and David Benyamine are BUSTO as of recently and therefore I am financially better off than them (until they win a few big blinds). I mean, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK? Just.. how? Benyamine had a $20 million roll, Lodden anywhere between $5-10 million depending on who you talk to. Both frequent the $200/400 NL/Omaha games online (benyamine is often on 1k/2k limit on Full Tilt too) where the buyin is $40k. You can't tell me two players of that quality can go on downswings of 200-400 buyins. Lord knows how they've lost that amount of money, and they ought to be ashamed of themselves. If someone has that sort of wealth, they really should put it to some kind of good measure. Greed is a bad demon, folks.

Anyway, Leeds are on -9 points, they are shit and I've lost interest. So I'm going to start supporting Dinamo Kiev or something.

Adios
JPK

And you thought flying was safe?

2007-08-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

Subject: Qantas Maintenance

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high School diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely In our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,

And then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never Let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some Actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance Engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. Below is taken from Qantas maintance logs for 2006.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget Pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

---

Considering I fly 2-3 times a month, this makes me feel so much safer..

Best
JPK

Does no-one want to play poker anymore?

2007-07-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

Apparently they don't. Whilst hunting around various sites trying to find the best SNG value one thing stood out EVERYWHERE. The words TURBO and SPEED. These seem to be the only games filling. I mean, I can understand it at $50-100, but even at $200 & $500 for example on Party Poker a regular paced SNG will rarely fill. On Betfair people are playing $200, $300 & $500 short handed turbos (just sick), but try and ever start a $400 regular structured sixpak and you'll be sat twiddling your thumbs. It's the same everywhere.

Why? Can people not even sit down for 35-40 minutes to play a SNG now? Do they have to try and squeeze in crapshoots in 15-25 minutes instead? The players who play the higher stakes are generally pros and grind them all day long, so why not play a game where the skill can outlast the luck a little more, especially at $500.

Don't get me wrong, I DO play turbos, speeds, thunders, whatever you want to call them. But they are a small supplement to my playing online. They don't represent a significant ROI and they actually suit my style. But do I want to sit there playing them all day, everyday? Fuck no. I mean, if that's all you can play how can you even have the patience to then hit an online MTT, nevermind a slow-structured clock live in a casino? It's totally negative on the mind in the short and long term. However I am now forced to play the majority of my SNGs in this format, because I can't be arsed waiting 90 minutes for a game to fill, I just keep it a little smaller i.e. on Crypto I play £90, £120 and £200 sixpaks. If I'm forced to play turbos, I'll hit the £50s. But I am beginning to get really frustrated with it all especially after 350 games of bullshit 74o pushes hitting approx. 90% of the time over the course of a week. It is incredibly infuriating to continually make the correct reads, generally play excellent poker and get a big stick shoved up your arse for the trouble, but I guess I'm used to it (not the stick part). But perhaps therein lies the answer of why speed SNGs are so popular these days as they present the best chance of the weaker player to win (although the weak player probably doesn't know they're dead money in a regular structure). However personally I feel it's just impatience and the "give it to me, give it to me now and quickly" mentality. But what winning players don't realise is they could make the same, probably more playing half the games in less time in regular structured single table tournaments, the only people who win are the corporate suits gobbling up the rake in double quick time, especially the sad sacks at PP and Stars who don't give rakeback. Ho-hum.

And yes you may have guessed, I am running REALLY bad, but I could have given you the shortest odds ever on that being the case after the horror that was Las Vegas, Sod's Law and all that.

Toodle pip
JPK

PS Updated links, check out Azimut's it's a good laugh. I've also deleted the timewasters who didn't reciprocate. To receive you must give chums.

Back Home

2007-07-21T16:46:00.001-07:00

Well I'm finally "back" after my travels, I'm not including the week or so lag inbetween Thailand and Vegas. I was planning to go back to Thailand but I've changed my mind, opting to stay at home and grind for a short while.

Vegas was a HUGE waste of time, and as you have probably gathered in previous posts I am not a lover of the place. Remember the Million Dollar Man in the WWF? "Everybodies got a price, HAHAHAHAHA".. well that basically follows suit in Vegas. It's about the dolla dolla baby and unless you're spending a 4 figure sum, you ain't nuthin', in fact, you're just a bit of something.

People out there are not in touch with reality. I was by the pool when I saw a girl, who couldn't be older than 14 walking with her Dad with a t-shirt that said HARD SEX on it. That really says it all. That aside, I had the best time of the trip chilling out in the 120 degree weather by the pool, unfortunately you have to walk through the casino to get to it, and therefore my swimming trips were very sparse.

I'm going to visit my friend in Florida, because it's the same thing but no casinos, and no "Million Dollar Man attitude". I imagine it's more my scene.

Ah, anyway, poker. WSOP was an abomination as I was completely coolered but what can you do in such a large field. I mean, look at who won, this guy Jerry Wang makes Moneymaker look like Phil Ivey. Nice finish for Skalie though, $1.25 million. Probably enough to buy half a house in Chorley, but property prices in England is a whole different subject I don't want to get into.

I'll be taking a break from the live circuit. I've decided it's -EV for me. Playing large buyin events, on the road in hotels and restaurants, as opposed to low cost home living whilst grinding doesn't make sense. I plan to go to the Caribbean in November, but apart from that I have no plans. I may try some WSOPE qualifiers, but I imagine it will be one of the toughest fields tournament poker has ever seen.

So, in short, you'll probably see far more updates here than in the past few months, because I'm actually going to be around. Gotta make a living.

Best
JPK

Jon "Skalie" Kalmar

2007-07-16T12:37:00.000-07:00

Jon Kalmar, from Chorley, a mere 10 minutes from me in Preston has made the FT of the WSOP ME just shy of being the chip leader with over $20 million in chips.

Seat 1 - Jon Kalmar - 20.32 million
Seat 2 - Lee Childs - 13.24 million
Seat 3 - Philip Hilm - 22.07 million
Seat 4 - Jerry Yang - 8.45 million
Seat 5 - Raymond Rahme - 16.32 million
Seat 6 - Tuan Lam - 21.315 million
Seat 7 - Alex Kravchenko - 6.57 million
Seat 8 - Lee Watkinson - 9.925 million
Seat 9 - Hevad 'Rain' Khan - 9.205 million

And the prizepool they're playing for:

1st - $8,250,000
2nd - $4,840,981
3rd - $3,048,025
4th - $1,852,721
5th - $1,255,069
6th - $956,243
7th - $705,229
8th - $585,934
9th - $525,934

Having played with Jon a few times I am pretty sure he is AT LEAST taking home a 7 figure sum. I am certain he will make it shorthanded to the final 3 but you never know what can happen in these things. I wish him all the best and if he becomes world champion it would be great for the game. I remember last November in Sheffield as we finished for the day in our £300 event (the final table was to be played the next day). He offered to drive me home out of his way even though it was 5am, and pick me up again just a few hours later to come back at an inconvienience to himself. We ended up chopping 1st and 2nd (he won) and everytime he's seen me since has always had time to say hello. It does feel rather strange for some reason that a few months ago in Walsall I saw him placing £1 bets on roulette, and now he's about to take down the big one!

Well if he wins $8.25 million I'll have more than enough time to say hello back!!!! Not that I didn't before of course..

GL!
JPK

WSOP & Vegas, go pluck yerselves

2007-07-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

I can honestly say I've never been in a more loathesome place in my entire life. It's understandable why people come to Vegas out of sheer curiosity, but for the life of me I don't know why anyone would come back.

There's two class of people here: hillbillies (yeehaws or whatever the fuck you wanna call those southern pricks who all think they're Doyle Brunson and wear a stetson like they're the fucking sheriff of Las Vegas Blvd.) & posers. There's no inbetween, seriously. The amount of arrogance in the air is quite something, and I thought I was bad for it.

People don't even try here, they just expect a tip, even cab drivers. Yeah that's right, take me 1/2 mile, charge me $10 and expect a tip on top. All the while trying to pimp me whatever you have to pimp. My ride to the Rio cost $10.40 one day. I gave a $20. He was shocked when I asked for change. 100% tip, why not?

Or, if you want to go to a nightclub (which are just full of aforementioned posers, I don't count the girls because I'm sure the majority are hookers), why not tip the doorman $100 to skip the que that never gets shorter. Once you get in there, it's a dance floor surrounded by tables, of which you need to buy two bottles of spirits plus a table charge to be able to sit at (circa $1000 if you get the cheap stuff). No other seats in the house, obviously. Oh, don't forget to grease the manager on the way out too!

Everybody has to eat, and it's no different here. A burger and fries will set you back about $15, only £7.50. Oh, plus tax of course. They don't include tax in prices here, it just creeps up on you unannounced when they bring the bill. Tipping waitresses is so disproportionate here too. If your order comes to say, $40 and you give a $50 you're expected to leave it all. Only 20% tip eh. That's why the skirts are arse length and the boobs are popping out.

Don't get me the fuck started on blackjack. That shit is so rigged I don't even want to discuss it. I believe it should be outlawed as it's nothing short of highway robbery.

Oh, the WSOP? They announced the prize pool on my day 1 (the last one). Circa $63 million. Big round of applause. "But AFFFFFTEEEERRRRRRRRRRR deductions the final pool iiiiiis $58 million!". Big whoop. What.. the.. fuck. Are these the dumbest people in the world We just collectively got robbed of $5 million and you're cheering?

Seriously, the whole thing is bullshit, a total scam. A media frenzy that WE fucking pay for! Where does that $5 million go? To the guys putting up the million and one fucking adverts? The sponsors, who paid I don't know how many millions to be a part of it? Why not throw a few bucks to ESPN, who draw ratings and TV sponsorship? Let's not forget the restaurants, bars and casinos in the Rio. Don't even mention the bullshit "convention" which had about a zillion stalls.

The main event tickets stated it was a $9400+600 buyin and not the advertised $10,000+0. Considering the ridiculous amount of money all involved make out of this tournament, you'd think they'd for once not undercut us, the people who PAY to enter their tournaments and make their TV shows. They don't put any money in the damn prize pool, they FUCKING TAKE IT!!!! That goes for all you fuckers, EPT, WPT et al.

Right, I can't be arsed anymore, I've got it off my chest now I'm off to the pool, to see the fat guy with their supermodel girlfriends.

And yes, I'm ever so slightly bitter about life now.

JPK

Back from the dead; Off to Vegas!

2007-07-04T10:02:00.001-07:00

Sorry for so long between posts - I've spent the past couple of months abroad, and had very little to do with poker except from online and I've not had anything interesting to really talk about. I've had a lot of near misses in 2007 and generally not a great time online profit-wise (five figure sterling profit months are a little harder to comeby nowadays), just enough, and a lot of it was to do with my attitude and approach to the game i.e. my work ethic was dogshit.

However, I continue to write for Betfair Poker, in a series of columns entitled "Life of a Poker Pro" which you can read at http://poker.betfair.com in the news & views section.

I am jetting off to Vegas tomorrow, I get in at around 2pm at the Luxor, so I'm going to take a stab at the final super sats to see if I can cheap seat my way into the main event. I'd rather avoid shelling out $10k.

However the structure for the main event looks rather appealing at 120 minute clock and $20k starting stack, 50-100 opening blinds. I will have to have a think on the plane about how to approach this tournament. It's 2 weeks long so you can't win it on day 1, however if you fall far behind it will be quite hard to keep up, and with the flat structure the book says you should be quite aggressive. The flip side is out of 8000+ entrants, a significant amount would probably be better served giving rides to people on Blackpool beach so being LAG isn't wise either.

For anyone that knows me who will be in Vegas, drop me a line on jonathanfarrer at aol dot com and we can exchange bad beat stories. Or maybe not

Best,
JPK

Belated update

2007-04-23T13:42:00.000-07:00

Things haven't really gotten any better, until yesterday that is as I picked up form on the sixpaks with my first big(ish) day for a while. Had a bad week last week and wasn't feeling too great, so I decided to hell with it and booked myself on a plane to warmer climates for 2 months; I leave tomorrow. I figure if I'm going to lose a couple of grand in a day, I can walk down to the beach and chill out, rather than open the curtains here and see the misery that is the Lancashire weather. It also stops me spending a silly amount of time in Vegas in June, always nice for the bank manager to hear.

UKPT was a bit meh, on Day 1 I played some very good poker, and threatened to have a big stack at various points, but just didn't get the rub of the green where I needed it e.g. I reraised in the cutoff with QQ when I was cruising around 30k ave stack 20k, only for the button to pick up KK and bring me back into the pack. Small things like that make a world of difference (especially with a stacked-up Rumit Somaiya to my left all day), but what can you do. Made it to day 2, where I tried to make things happen but it wasn't to be. Was good to see Paul from betfair, Mel Judah & the Champagne Campaign Crew again, but that was unfortunately the highlight.

Regards,
JPK

No more anonymous comments

2007-04-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

..simply because all the abuse on here comes from nameless monkeys, if you want to flame me fire away but have the balls to do it under your name.

Poker has been pretty sick, I don't really want to talk about it.. I've nothing good to say so I'll keep schtum. UKPT next weekend, not sure if I'll be posting an update before then as I'm not too enamoured with the game right now.

Best,
JPK

Collusion?

2007-04-09T13:48:00.000-07:00

What do you think.. SB left after this hand, c/o left a couple of hands later, both were fish. Guy who "won" the hand spun up his $1500 to $6k, the other did $1500 twice in quick fashion. The one with $6k was there a little while before the other.

Game #3765388293: Hold'em NL ($25/$50) - 2007/04/09 - 16:23:28 (EST)
Table "Abramov" Seat 5 is the button.
Seat 1: lundgren1 ($5694 in chips)
Seat 2: dankiiii ($6749.14 in chips)
Seat 3: AceHole ($5948 in chips)
Seat 4: Pau080570 ($3524.57 in chips)
Seat 5: JPK69 ($4800 in chips)
Seat 6: Sim100517 ($1870.60 in chips)
Sim100517: posts small blind $25
lundgren1: posts big blind $50
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to JPK69 [Qh Jh]
dankiiii: folds
AceHole: folds
Pau080570: calls $50
JPK69: raises to $200
Sim100517: calls $175
lundgren1: folds
Pau080570: raises to $350
JPK69: calls $150
Sim100517: raises to $500
Pau080570: calls $150
JPK69: calls $150
----- FLOP ----- [Jd Ks 9s]
Sim100517: bets $1370.60 and is all-in
Pau080570: calls $1370.60
JPK69: folds
----- TURN ----- [Jd Ks 9s][Kh]
----- RIVER ----- [Jd Ks 9s Kh][6h]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Sim100517: shows [Td Ad] (A Pair of Kings, Ace high)
Pau080570: shows [Jc As] (Two Pairs, Kings and Jacks, Ace high)
Pau080570 collected $4288.20 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot $4291.20 Main pot $4288.20 Rake $3
Board [Jd Ks 9s Kh 6h]
Seat 1: lundgren1 (big blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: dankiiii folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: AceHole folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Pau080570 showed [Jc As] and won ($4288.20) with Two Pairs, Kings and Jacks, Ace high
Seat 5: JPK69 (button) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: Sim100517 (small blind) showed [Td Ad] and lost with A Pair of Kings, Ace high

Bleh, meh, zzzzzzzzzz

2007-04-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

Same old stuff really.. I am managing to grind out a slight profit at sixpaks despite losing every race on the bubble, but it's not like that hasn't always been the case so no problem there. Factoring with rakeback I could live a comfortable life by just breaking even, if I can turn some actual form for a couple of months there's a lot of cash up for grabs.

I think there's far more value on the cash tables these days, rather than SNGs.. and I am managing to make some cash on the $5/10 tables.. nothing earth shattering but it's positive. However, my main source seems to be the MTTs despite the fact I rarely play them, so I will concentrate a little more on those in the next month or two, focusing on the larger buyins on Crypto and Betfair (fantastic structure).. as well as the Mansion $100k. The Pokerstars tournies look good, but at 2000+ runners for every guaranteed MTT, it just sets me in the wrong frame of mind before I even start. I will probably play them a lot more just before the WSOP for practice and the prize pool is well worth the effort (1st place usually around the $200k mark). I'm predicting in 2007 I'll have a sizeable MTT win somewhere, it's just a gut feeling.

So, nothing special going on, back into the daily lifestyle in the epicenter of entertainment of Longridge, near Preston, Lancashire. May "pop off" to Thailand for a couple of months rather than the originally planned one month after UKPT Manchester, we'll see what poker brings ;-)

Regards,
JPK

Goa Money Arrives & JPK Signs with BF.. sortof

2007-04-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

Since I've been moaning about it, I thought I would let you guys know :-)

You know a bad run is over, when you are angry about "only" being $2k up for the day. Boy, I can take those bad moods anytime ;-)

I've signed up as a contributing writer to the poker section of the Betfair website in a series entitled: "The Life of a Poker Pro". Check it out at http://poker.betfair.com .. the first column charts my journey in Goa. I'm not too sure what exactly I'll write about yet, but I'll make sure it's as original and insightful as I can possibly make it.

Best
JPK

Calling Thomas "Buzzer" Bihl, the classy gent

2007-04-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

£200 sixpak:

Game #3700527203: Hold'em NL (100/200) - 2007/04/03 - 18:05:16 (EST)
Table "1" Seat 2 is the button.
Seat 1: _martin_ (1365 in chips)
Seat 2: Craig11op (2746 in chips)
Seat 3: JPK69 (2587 in chips)
Seat 4: mny75 (2302 in chips)
JPK69: posts small blind 100
mny75: posts big blind 200
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to JPK69 [Ac 5c]
_martin_: folds
Craig11op: folds
JPK69: calls 100
mny75: checks
----- FLOP ----- [3s Ad 9c]
JPK69: bets 200
mny75: calls 200
----- TURN ----- [3s Ad 9c][4s]
JPK69: checks
mny75: bets 400
JPK69: raises to 2187 and is all-in
mny75: is all-in 1502
Returned uncalled bets 285 to JPK69
----- RIVER ----- [3s Ad 9c 4s][7h]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
JPK69: shows [Ac 5c] (A Pair of Aces, Nine high)
mny75: shows [9h 7d] (Two Pairs, Nines and Sevens, Ace high)
mny75 collected 4604 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot 4604 Main pot 4604 Rake 0
Board [3s Ad 9c 4s 7h]
Seat 1: _martin_ folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Craig11op (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: JPK69 (small blind) showed [Ac 5c] and lost with A Pair of Aces, Nine high
Seat 4: mny75 (big blind) showed [9h 7d] and won (4604) with Two Pairs, Nines and Sevens, Ace high

Dealer: #3700527203, mny75 wins 4604 chips with Two Pairs, Nines and Sevens, Ace high.
mny75: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

You are so classy young man, I see you still finished 3rd, LOL.. and don't even try and argue it wasn't you.. but no matter, I will continue to take your donations in the near, and distant future. I just felt the Betfair forum and my blogger readers would like to see this so as to further enhance your nice guy reputation.

Regards,
JPK

Kiss Kiss

FT Woes

2007-04-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

I decided to play my first MTTs last night since Goa, the Betfair $50k and the Cryptologic £40k guaranteed tournies. In the BF tourney I played good, solid stuff, nothing out of the ordinary but never looked like not making the final table, which I duly did. 7 left, blinds at 2/4k matey UTG with 50k raises to 10k. I jam in the BB with A8d for about the same as I know he hasn't got much of anything with such a pathetic raise, he thinks for 5 seconds and calls with JTc. So, 7th for $1750. The clown went on to win, and scoop $15k. Tilt.

At the same time I'd been playing the £40k with not much interest as it was early on and basically just played good hands and never limped into pots. Had two early double ups and was in the top 2 at level 2, where I remained until the FT as I completely dominated the field. Whenever this happens I am a dead cert not to win as it proved. I lost with TT to KQ on a ATx board, then called an SB jam with KT, he had T7o. I called it to Benno before the cards were dealt, "he's jamming, I'm calling and getting raped". Self-fulfilling prophecies, eh. This was really frustrating as I had a big stack at the time, and if I win these pots, I eliminate two players, it's short handed and I'm strong odds-on to win. Swings are so important, even the small ones as they can totally change the dynamic of a game.

Final 4 and I get the chip lead, a bluff goes wrong but I'm still looking strong. Raise UTG to 24k at 4.8k with AT.. SB villain who only had one move all tourney (all-in jam/resteal) for 75k-ish with KQo (let's not dissect this and talk about how this is such an awful move), ten on flop, queen on turn and he stays alive for the 8th or 9th time. Next hand, QQ vs AK, he boats up. GG WP. £3000 prize money, should've been £10k (at least it wasn't for $250k like Goa), same old story.

Alright, so I made £4000 on the day but ignoring the financial success it really is irritating this continues to occur on final tables for me. My hands never hold up and my gimmick seems to be that I lose every crucial race. In that sense, my confidence is very low when I get all-in. When I'm playing poker and not bingo, everything's all good. One thing's for sure, sometime, at some point, I'll FT somewhere and completely destroy my opponents, where and when that will be, who knows..

In lieu of this I've decided to pull out of the Irish Open. I really can't be bothered shelling out 5k Euro only to have a big stick shoved up my arse at a critical moment to cost me 500k or whatever, I just can't handle such a disappointment currently. Add to the fact I've STILL not received my prize money from Goa, I am tightening the purse strings. I'll probably play the UKPT in Manchester, and take a rest before the WSOP main event. Back to the daily grind for me.

Regards,
JPK

Chasing Fame, the swings of online poker and where's my $58k, Mr. Hassan?

2007-03-28T16:45:00.000-07:00

Well the Goa money still hasn't arrived, but ho-hum, I am assured it'll be there tomorrow. Sometimes people take such liberties of our good nature, or maybe it's just the fact they know we are lazy and try and screw every last day of interest they can get on our cash. Someone's going to walk the plank courtesy of JPK if it isn't in my account tomorrow!

Here are a few pictures I've come across of me in Goa.. but they've come out in the wrong order, so work from the bottom up:

Probably taken after the bad beats, how else can I look so disgusting?

The final crushing blow is dealt, muff number 3 and another runner runner, I am sent to the rail in 5th place.

And promptly muff number 2, and flipout number 2 occurs, again in front of the cameras.

Pranath contemplates moving all-in on my big blind, obviously with fresh air

Scandie player donks off

Caught red-handed taking a peek down Anna's top

Sans bandana, the pirate association would be most displeased

Moving all-in before muffing number 1, and flipout number 1

Car crash stuff, I hope my next tournament is more successful, and less spectacular, I'm still trying to get over the swings of it all.

Anyway, I'm back on the live scene soon as I head off for the Irish Open in Dublin on April 5th. With a 2 million euro guaranteed prize pool, with 550k for 1st it's going to be a battle to the death & despite my finish in Goa I am due a bit of luck, so we'll just see. I was interested to read that Mel Judah, someone I spent a lot of time at the tables with in India, is favourite for the tournament at 80-1. He is a very good player, however I feel I am more than a match for him and it gives me a bit of self-belief that I can hang with such reputations.

I am selling maybe 20% of myself in the tournament just to cover hotels, flights etc as I've decided to tighten the purse strings on non-poker activities (some will say that has always been the case). Entry is 3500 euro, so I'll be selling 10% for 400 euro. E-mail jfarrer69 at aol dot com if you know me and are interested.

I'm going to cool it with the live trips in general as I need to get on the march online. The UKPT in Manchester is on the list, then it's off to Thailand for a month (why not?) then straight off to Vegas for the WSOP main event. I will probably only stay in Vegas for 2 weeks, I don't get the whole "I'm going for 6 weeks and caning everything I've got" attitude that many of my friends have but it's horses for courses. I might drop in on my mate in Florida for some summer sun in Tampa Bay, such is my current adoration for life in England. So, 3 tournaments planned until the end of WSOP. I did say a while back on here that I'm not chasing fame and glory and that this year would be consolidatory, obviously the cash in Goa have skewed things a little bit but I'll save the Monte Carlo's and Los Angeles and Australia's for next year, methinks. I won't be able to resist the Caribbean, though, and there's a tournament in the Bahamas at the Atlantis in the near future that looks tempting, as well as a cruise in Mexico. If it goes well in Dublin... :D

Online has been "steady" profit-wise, but there's been days where I could really have run wild if it weren't for multiple outdraws. However, I am happy with my play again and it's nice to turn things around online, albeit slowly. The fact I am making money in MTTs, Sixpaks & cash collectively pleases me; my cash game is really beginning to develop and I am beginning to find some discipline. I had a situation the other night on Betfair where I was $4000 to the good within 30 mins, however I lost two big pots by being outdrawn, and down to $1500 profit. A few months ago that would've spun down to zilch and probably a loss, but I decided just to come off. I've finally realised there's no shame in that, and you can't always finish as high as a kite.

Regards,

JPK

Reality

2007-03-26T05:31:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things I find now that I've got myself onto the poker travelling scene, is going to all these different places, having a great time and (occasionally) making nice money; then having to come back home to sunny Longridge, Preston and readjust to the daily grind.

I'm bored, in all honesty. Not with poker, but regular life as I know it. I'm now no longer satisfied living in a council house (albeit owned, not rented) in Lancashire and need to do something about it. I have been presented with an opportunity that some can only dream of: I can thereotically live anywhere in the world and still work. It's a tough dilemma, but I'm sure the likes of Rob Sherwood who cottoned onto this about a year ago, would tell me to go for it.

What's provoked this is my stay in Thailand after my cash in Goa. Rather than come home on the pathetic Thomson Fly I opted to meet my friends for a 2 week break as they'd gone to Bangkok to watch a concert (so they reckon). Granted it was a holiday, but I decided to treat myself by staying in the Metropole in Pattaya, a very nice hotel with good ADSL connection in the room. To stay in this 5 star hotel with first class amenities including food, gym, pool, laundry, cleaners et al costs around £100 a week for a stay of a month, cheaper if 2 months upwards. lest us not forget the far cheaper standard of living, the beaches, sun and general cheap entertainment as well as the ability to travel all around Asia and it's great islands for pennies, it's almost too good to be true. I don't have any responsibilities here and I'm struggling to come up with reasons to stick around.

I also have the option of being able to fly out to Tampa Bay in Florida at the drop of a hat to stay with my friend. I'm thinking after WSOP, I may split my time between Florida, Thailand and the odd short stay in the UK as well as my periodical travels on the world poker scene. In 2 years, I may not have the chance to do this, so I need to take advantage whilst I can. Of course, I have to be careful that I upkeep and maintain the same table hours I do when living in Preston which is no easy task with all the distractions of living in a more tropical climate, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

As for poker, it's on the rise here. MTTs aside, I've had a pretty shocking 2007. Some of it self-inflicted, most through bad.. *shudder*.. variance. Yesterday I had a good 'un though on the sixpaks raking in about $3k, and the cash tables seem to be grinding out a small, worthwhile profit too. The cash is more of a learning curve, especially since I'm throwing myself in at the deep end of $10/20, so I'm happy to take whatever positives I can. To be honest, the standard isn't anything to fear, the biggest threat is myself and lack of patience, but that's coming along nicely.

Anyway, just thought I'd use this entry to think aloud, and if you have any similar tales, feel free to get in touch!

Regards,
JPK

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2007-03-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

A bit jaded after my 3 weeks of mayhem. Still haven't been paid from Goa which is perturbing but whatever. All my messages and such have sortof been lost in the mix, I've had a few requests to swop links etc. with other blogs so please resend requests to jfarrer69 at aol.com.

Thanks everyone for all your well wishes and I'll be back in the loop again soon, and good luck to anyone attending the UKPT in Cardiff (I can geniunely say that as I'm not playing!)

Regards,
JPK

Quick Goa Update

2007-03-04T23:15:00.000-08:00

I finished 5th for $58k, though I will no doubt be remembered on TV for the horrific run of bad beats I endured, and my subsequent outburts and torrents of abuse. The camera guys assured me I don't come across that bad and it made good TV, however my two biggest "Flip Out Farrer" moments came at the expense of two Indian players. Being that the event will be broadcast on Z Sports here (the equivalent of ESPN in USA) I will probably have visa troubles next time I try to come over ;-). I tried to save myself by saying nice things in the TV interview afterwards so perhaps I will be redeemed.

Cards aside, the cash was really nice. 2007 has been so up and down it's nice to pocket an eventual $54k or so (tips, small swops etc). The press have been all over me since, but one big result doesn't mean anything and hopefully I can back this up with a win sometime soon. Plenty on the horizon and lots of opportunities.

Fantastic event and had an amazing time here and can't wait to come back. The pressure has been lifted off my shoulders now, so I can relax and see how things pan out.

I'll have a full report soon.

Best,
JPK

Greetings from Goa

2007-02-28T06:46:00.000-08:00

Howdy y'all

Myself, Dubai, Benno, "Miss" Joey Lovelady (according to the tournament entry sheet, I guess he could pass for a butch lesbian with that hairstyle) et all arrived yesterday after a fantastic flight with Thomson and a wonderful 2 hour+ guided tour through the beautiful, tranquil non-polluted high economy and thoroughly safe city of Goa in the finest taxis money can buy, with drivers to match. I've never really considerd death during my 24 years on this planet, until yesterday. Shocking.

The resort itself is pretty cool, private beach and a pool which has a bar you can swim upto. Tourney starts on the 2nd and all I've seen is "name" players with big results, so obviously we're the value here. They're talking about 150 runners or so, one of us surely has to go deep.
Hiring a yacht tomorrow I think it's £200 an hour between 11 of us. Actually, 10 of us, Ben "Sunday8pm" Mayhew has freerolled onto the trip via eating pineapple covered in sand and watermelon with no hands, but he still has 2 tasks to complete before allowed entry to the all inclusive day. Should be fun.

I'm probably going to head off to Thailand after we're done here, I can't stomach that ridiculously bad flight home, and since I've travelled all this way, I may as well go for at least a couple of weeks.

Oh, and surprisingly there's plenty of ladies here, and only one bar, so they can't escape us, we've just got to prevent Julian Thew from cramping our style, I hope he doesn't bust out the pink and brown cardigan again.

Lots more to tell you about, but I'm typed out, and we're going to a restaurant soon because Dubai doesn't want to eat the free buffet they're putting on for us every night. Cheerio

Best
J

Reality

2007-02-24T18:45:00.000-08:00

Third post within a 6 hour or so period. I've just learned that the train that derailed, the one I was supposed to be on, has had one fatality and 8 critical injuries. Granted, it flipped over on the stop ten minutes after mine, but that's still very eery. I may get outdrawn by muppets all day every day on the tables, but at least I still have my health.

Can't believe this run

2007-02-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

I know it's only a few hours since I've posted, but I just trashed my office in an absolute fit of rage due to ANOTHER fucking run of ridiculous beats, topped off by this gem in the 12k, you will notice the villain is quite familiar:

Game #3252293513: Hold'em NL (400/800) - 2007/02/24 - 17:46:07 (DST)
Table "1" Seat 7 is the button.
Seat 1: deeganc (9696 in chips)
Seat 2: SheGrant (26605 in chips)
Seat 3: Obs200 (12067.50 in chips)
Seat 4: JPK69 (8729.50 in chips)
Seat 5: 1_9_1_3 (17848 in chips)
Seat 7: ><(((*> (11477 in chips)
Seat 8: Jayjay72 (21511 in chips)
Seat 9: outdrawme (19559 in chips)
Seat 10: KipsterDK (21762 in chips)
Jayjay72: posts the ante 100
outdrawme: posts the ante 100
KipsterDK: posts the ante 100
deeganc: posts the ante 100
SheGrant: posts the ante 100
Obs200: posts the ante 100
JPK69: posts the ante 100
1_9_1_3: posts the ante 100>
<(((*>: posts the ante 100
Jayjay72: posts small blind 400
outdrawme: posts big blind 800

----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to JPK69 [Tc Th]
KipsterDK: calls 800
deeganc: folds
SheGrant: folds
Obs200: folds
JPK69: raises to 3200
1_9_1_3: folds
><(((*>: folds
Jayjay72: folds
outdrawme: folds
KipsterDK: calls 2400

----- FLOP -----
[9h Td 9c]
KipsterDK: checks
JPK69: checks
----- TURN -----
[9h Td 9c][Qc]
KipsterDK: checks
JPK69: bets 3200
KipsterDK: raises to 18462 and is all-in
JPK69: is all-in 2229.50
Returned uncalled bets 13,032.50 to KipsterDK

----- RIVER ----- [9h Td 9c Qc][Qd]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
KipsterDK: shows [Qh Kh] (A Full House, Queens full of Nines)
JPK69: shows [Tc Th] (A Full House, Tens full of Queens)
KipsterDK collected 19359 from Main pot

I've had enough, Seriously. Ran like this for 2 months and it's beyond the joke, it's actually taking the piss. This was in the final 20, but in reality, it's happening in the majority of GBP90+ sixpaks I play, or I run a steal into a big hand. I've never ever had a run as sick or bad as this, I never want to see a poker table again. I'd even cancel Goa if I was able to but too little, too late. It's just not fair.

Going, Going, Goa!!

2007-02-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, maybe headlines aren't my thing but you get the picture. Early Tuesday morning I jet off to Goa, India for the APC (http://www.asianpokerclassic.com/). I am looking forward to the event, but I have been soured by the hassle I've had to go through to get my visa.

That's right, everyone who visits India has to go to the Indian Consulate in Central London to get a visa. You can risk sending it off, but stats reckon they lost 1000's in the last 12 months and I wasn't risking it. In this day and age. Yes. Utter nonsense. So I get there in the pouring rain at 8am, after spending an hour on the cattle market that is the London Underground feeling slightly peeved. The night I spent on my mates bedroom floor probably didn't help either. There's no one there, no ques or anything, WHOOPEE. Then I see a sign saying visas this way, with an arrow pointing round the corner. Yep, you guessed it, I peeked round the corner and there's a que a mile long, mostly consisting of animals, er I mean traveller types.

So I stand there, snow and rain pelting me in the face thinking how great my life is for the best part of three hours back and forth before finally getting all my stuff sorted and its about 11am. I come out to no que and people are casually wandering in. That's a tilt moment right there, folks. Thank the lord there was no wifi in the vicinity otherwise my Crypto account would've taken a hammering. It's like when you're on a cash table, grinding away and waiting for a hand against the table lunatic all day, when some short stacking cunt comes in and 5 minutes later he's shit the deck, quadrupled up, busted the LAG hero and fleed.

So off to meet the new BF poker bod Paul Twaddle, pick up my snazzy BF shirts that I am obliged to wear for whoring myself and then back to Euston to catch my train home. Apparently my ticket isn't valid for this particular Euston-Preston journey, and there's no seats left in coach, so it's off to First Class at a one way price of £170. Whoooooo. However it's not all bad as I get home to learn the train I was supposed to catch was the one that ended up in a ditch somewhere. So, I guess that's the equivalent of hitting a 3 outter after being sucked out on in a massive pot, alls well that ends well but still feel aggreived.

Myself and poker are a little shi-ite at the moment, so I at least have something in common with my Asian counterparts (oh, how my punfully intended jokes are hilarious). It's nothing too disastrous, but I'm just stuck in a rut, but as long as I keep getting my cards in with KK vs. Ax, it's only a matter of time before I hit GIN and get back on the winning trail, hopefully in India.

All jokes aside I am really looking forward to this trip, some of my best friends are from India and they are amongst the most helpful and friendly people in the world. I'm not sure I'll be partaking in the curry breakfast buffets I've heard about but I do love my spicy food so I'll give it a whirl, however I am hoping everyone in the poker tournament gets together and unanimously agree not to eat anything that will make the bowels, erm, slightly gurgly the day before, we have to endure enough shit as it is on the tables without having to smell it all day long. $1 million guaranteed, I am due a really big result and this could just be the place. If I cash well, I'll probably end up doing a tour of the islands for a month, but then I'll probably convince Joey Lovelady & Blacklist into doing it anyway.

If you're going out there, drop me a message here or an email on jfarrer69 at aol dot com.. and if you recognise me, be sure to say hello and offer a glass or bottle of Chablis. Yes, Thew, I'm looking at you ;-)

All the breast,
JPK

PS Good luck to the new Sky Poker programme that's started up (http://www.skypoker.com/), my mate Ed Giddins will be on the show and it's being advertised to high hell on the big football
matches, the Sky Sports website et al so I expect it to really take off in the next couple of months (they even got Helen Chamberlain on, I'd still bok her for old times sake from my masterbatory teen years) and be really beneficial for the UK scene. We need all the help we can get!

Action packed week

2007-02-18T17:36:00.000-08:00

That's how I can describe it best. Doing my bollocks at the moment and running sick bad with no upswing for a month, I'm a bit fucked off with poker, so I'll leave that for now. No point crying over spilt milk and all that.

Other fronts are looking okay I guess. Walsall was a laugh, a couple of sick nights out & met a bunch of top people such as Julian Thew, Ed Giddins et al. It's not the first time I've met the guys, but it's got to the point now where everyone's getting to know me on a first name basis, probably for all the wrong reasons. Also, despite the fact I can't pull in a tug of war contest in my hometown, women actually find me slightly desirable when I'm off galavanting on poker trips. I assume this is delusion caused by intoxication or the fact that I hang around with individuals far uglier than myself, probably a mixture of the two.

Also, I grabbed an opportunity to sign myself up for the Asian Poker Classic in Goa during the first week of March. I will be representing Betfair during the event but I'm not wearing that stripey fucking monstrosity of a shirt they try and fob off on people, they're gonna have to send me something a bit better than that. Joey Lovelady, Blacklist Benno, Dubai and their crew are all going along so I am going to lock myself in my room for the week for fear of bankruptcy.

The Betfair thing is a one time only deal unless I avoid the mandatory bumshagging just before the big money. I'm sure if I can get a result or three sites will come knocking for me to play for them, I've got a couple of small-ish offers already but nothing I'm overly interested in. If people want JPK on their team it's gotta be worth my while, and I don't think anyone thinks I'm a justifiable risk right now in terms of what I'd be looking for (well, apart from the fact I'm a rake machine, decent online winner, journalist and general sexyboy/arsehole). But with Goa, the UKPT, Irish Open, Betfair Asian Tour and WSOP on the cards, it's looking pretty stacked for 2007 already. Maybe next year will be my year in terms of chasing the TV cameras. 2007 will be defining as far as poker goes, so I need to get my head down and work. Papa wants a brand new carrrrrrrrrrrr..

Regards,
JPK

Sam Allardyce is the fucking man

2007-02-11T07:59:00.000-08:00

http://home.skysports.com/list.aspx?hlid=447456&CPID=8&clid=30&lid=2&title=Big+Sam+slams+'Fat,+lazy+nation'&channel=football_home&

How the FA let this guy slip through their fingers in favour of politically correct, corporate friendly yes man Steve McClaren just defies belief. This man is my new idol.

MTT Frustrations, or am I just moaning for the sake of it?

2007-02-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

I sit here typing this after just finishing 6th in the Mansion $100k guaranteed for $4600, a little miffed it's not just shy of $19.5k more. It's just occurred to me that it's really come to something when I am unhappy winning such an amount, thinking of the lost earnings. I've won over $15k in the past 5 or 6 days and haven't really broken a smile over it. I'm not entirely sure whether this is a good thing or not, I'd venture to say a little of both, but I need to lighten up.

I totally was crushing the field, just like I did in the £8k the other day, and had nearly 2x2nd place chips for 2 hours, when a muppet decided to jam on me with AJo against my jacks, an ace on the river stopped my momentum as I was accumulating chips at an alarming rate, so I had to just sit tight and hope to win my 60/40s (I did, winning 3 of them, before raising all in with 99 into QQ). What can you do.. it's just extremely disappointing to run into that when the pay incraments are so big as they invariably are in 500+ runner fields. Maybe I'll have a tad more luck at UKPT. Then again, I am more than happy to collect $50k+ a month "unluckily" :D.

So yeah, everything's looking a bit rosier, and the trolls with their negative shit seem to have disappeared from the comment area, perhaps because I am owning them on the tables again, who knows.

Best,
JPK

A slight change in fortunes

2007-02-07T06:09:00.000-08:00

Won $6k or so last night. Of course I'm happy, but I've got an empty feeling. Probably due to the fact that I absolutely DESTROYED the £8k on Crypto (I am playing the mid-month leaderboard to try and win a Monte Carlo seat). I had 3 x chips of 2nd going into the last two tables, 4 x on the FT and 5 x short handed. 5-1 lead heads up (he was at that point 3 times), get it all in AQ v A5, he spikes a 5 on the turn, and makes the comeback of all comebacks, costing me £1k and some important leaderboard points. Frankly, I just ran over everybody and it was a total injustice I didn't win. What made it worse was that straight after I crashed out of the $4k for the same leaderboard in 14th after losing TT vs A9 for a 50k pot.. he called the all-in of course and the first card a deserved ace.. GG WP TY CU FO..

I should be happy with the winnings, but I am such a brutal perfectionist that I was absolutely raging. I've calmed down a little now and I hope I can continue with some solid winning days to get back on track. It's been a rough few weeks and a little success was nice.

Hawko's up on Sunday as he needs to collect ten grand off some geezer in Manchester, sounds like fun.. then it's off to Walsall for the UKPT, so it'll be either tales of joy or woe in the next week..

RegardsJPK

I think this says it all

2007-02-05T18:19:00.000-08:00

Standard outdraw lately, this is a £120 sixpak, KipsterDK is a known winner.. suffice to say, this hand history sums up the last month, and my current mood.

Game #4421313334: Hold'em NL (50/100) - 2007/02/05 - 19:04:33 (DST)
Table "1" Seat 1 is the button.
Seat 1: JPK69 (2242 in chips)
Seat 2: jnicholso (1938 in chips)
Seat 3: _tiltiana (711 in chips)
Seat 4: KipsterDK (4109 in chips)
jnicholso: posts small blind 50
_tiltiana: posts big blind 100
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to JPK69 [9d Ad]
KipsterDK: raises to 250
JPK69: calls 250
jnicholso: folds
_tiltiana: folds
----- FLOP ----- [Ac 8d 4d]
KipsterDK: bets 250
JPK69: raises to 900
KipsterDK: raises to 3859 and is all-in
JPK69: is all-in 1092
Returned uncalled bets 1,867 to KipsterDK
----- TURN ----- [Ac 8d 4d][6c]
----- RIVER ----- [Ac 8d 4d 6c][2h]
----- SHOW DOWN -----
KipsterDK: shows [6s Ah] (Two Pairs, Aces and Sixes, Eight high)
JPK69: shows [9d Ad] (A Pair of Aces, Nine high)
KipsterDK collected 4634 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot 4634 Main pot 4634 Rake 0
Board [Ac 8d 4d 6c 2h]
Seat 1: JPK69 (button) showed [9d Ad] and lost with A Pair of Aces, Nine high
Seat 2: jnicholso (small blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: _tiltiana (big blind) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: KipsterDK showed [6s Ah] and won (4634) with Two Pairs, Aces and Sixes, Eight high

Regards
JPK

PS I lied about the standard outdraw, they usually hit their 3 carder 8/10 times, not 2 carder as in the above example

Show me the money!

2007-01-30T16:11:00.000-08:00

..is exactly what I'd be saying if I was winning. As my last entry suggests things have been a tad harsh recently. The usual, getting it in mostly as 70% or more as favourite, and losing every 60/40 and coinflip (sorry, no bad beat rule is being enforced again, I'll shut up). Since my $7.5k losing day earlier in the month it's been one low to the next and I really have very little enthusiasm right now or will to grind it out. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying, but as my mate Dubai says "when it's bad, it's REALLY bad". Too right.

So, what to do? I resorted to what I usually do during such a shit spell, firstly I go absolutely stone crazy to anything and anyone in my path, then I settle down, force myself to suck it up and grind where it invariably gets worse than I could ever have hoped against beforehand. Then I get depressed and do my finances to see where I stand, always guaranteed to cheer me up. I actually worked it out, if I factor in my rakeback for the month, that I'm slightly over breakeven for the downswing. Sick eh, and it feels a lot worse. When you're used to grinding $20k a month and it suddenly comes to a halt in ridiculous fashion you're left scratching your head, and me being the perennial paniker usually blow my top in some sort of hilarious fashion. I never really mean what I say, as I have grown to learn, but it still fucks me off nonetheless.

Speaking of being fucked off, why don't the anonymous haters do just that. Don't think I don't know who it is either (all 3 of you). You really are pondscum, get a life. Lose some weight, too.

Future plans are that I will play tomorrow and Thursday, but my mate is coming to stay for the weekend so I'll probably ease off and get some perspective. Or alcohol, both work for me. I plan to travel to Walsall for the UKPT to see if I can better last time's shambles. I must mention that Nick Slade apparently told Dubai that I must've misheard him and he wasn't trying to give me the rubdown at all, so I guess I'll say hi if he's around. I've also just booked my room for the Paddy Power Irish Open in April.. so that's two live jaunts and I don't intend to make anymore within that time frame unless I get a big result that allows me to ease off the online grind. Back to work HARD on Monday, and I will suck it up whatever comes my way.

Thanks for reading,
JPK

Fuck this shit

2007-01-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

Fuck it, I'm done, and fuck all of you shit, useless bastards that have made bullshit calls and raises and hit ridiculous runner runners 10 times a night.. fucked off, I'm off, out, done, dusted, can't be fucking arsed anymore, not worth the shit this.

Dogshit on a stick

2007-01-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

..is the best way to describe this week. It's actually quite boring sat there clicking fold hours a day, then running into a big hand at higher blinds, just feels like a waste. I'd get frustrated but what's the point, just have to play through it and keep the losses to a minimum. Not much else to report really.

Oh, there seems to be an abundance of people all too willing to have a pop at me currently, both on and off the tables and I'm growing quite tired of it. I shall dispense of these problem matters simply by telling them to come and find the games I am in and sit down.. fucking keyboard warriors. I may just turn off chat completely, which I'm actually against even though most of the people I know don't understand why I leave it on.

Hopefully the weekend will bring more joy, but seeing as Leeds Utd are probably going to lose at Hull, I rather doubt that.

Regards
JPK

Few days off, all going swimmingly

2007-01-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

Just had a couple of days off as I travelled to another planet called Whitehaven (maybe it was another galaxy on the outer rim) to visit me ol' mucker KingHawko. Good to get away from the computer for once, have just landed back and won £800 playing a few sixpaks so happy days.

I will continue grinding for the next few months with the odd trip to the UKPT tour, but the past two months since Singapore I haven't really worked that hard, when I really should kick on, as was my 2007 plan. After a few jaunts (that have included some wins) it's back to business, can't rely on Hans to cash big in major events every month!

Nothing more to report, except that no, I am not shagging Buzzer (people who know me will find this accusation particular amusing for a number of reasons) and in response to some of my criticism of Gobboboy at various sites online, what would you rather me call him fatty bum bum? He made a ton of donk plays and got lucky, no problem, but the way Hans suffered a sick river at that point was quite cruel, considering how much money was on the line.. so I think I'm allowed a little jibe.

Not my fault I'm not horizontally challenged and don't get offended easily, so lay off, okay?

Regards
JPK

Heff finishes 5th in Oz & back on track

2007-01-19T08:59:00.000-08:00

Good 24 hours, as I managed to stop the rot and turn a $2500 profit yesterday, returning to sixpaks. Not much to say really, standard stuff, avoided beats, had my hands hold up and that's that. Mixture of Betfair and Crypto, though the developers need to sort out out Betfair very quickly, the thing is an eyesore, and though slowly improving, if they want my full-time business they have to make it a priviledge to play there, rather than a breath of fresh air when I switch onto Crypto.

Hans "HEFFERNAN" Vogl finished 5th in the Aussie Millions, collecting $400k for his efforts. What a performance, only stunted by that lardsack Jimmy Fricke (pictured below in my previous post) making a ridiculously bad play and rivering poor Hans to the rail in a 2 million pot. Gutting, to say the least, as that would've put him right in with the leaders and would've given him a real hope of taking it down, alas, not to be. I'm sure one of us will win a "major" in the next couple of years, though I have some catching up to do with his recent achievements!

Regards,
JPK

Hans Vogl makes Aussie Millions FT

2007-01-18T09:31:00.000-08:00

..and what an achievement from "Da Pope". Despite being totally ignored from the press and updaters he has quietly gone under the radar and sneaked onto the FT, albeit as a short stack, here are the chip counts:

Jimmy Fricke 5,175,000
Gus Hansen 4,845,000
Andrew Black 2,100,000
Kristy Gazes 1,050,000
Julius Colman 785,000
Marc Karam 535,000
Hans Vogl 455,000

Payout structure is 225k, 300k, 400k, 500k, 700k, 1mil, 1.5mil - wow, I hope the shorter stacks make some sortof saver.....

On my front, did another 4 figure sum last night. In the space of 5 hands all in preflop, QQ cracked by 86, AA by KJ, KK by 95. Just absolutely nothing I can do, I'd cry myself to sleep, but Hans has pulled me out of the mire with his stunning performance so it's allowing me to just shrug off the worst run of my life. I guess I should be delirious about that, soo....

ALL HAIL POPE HANS THE FIRST!

Aussie Millions & the new posterboy of poker???

2007-01-17T06:07:00.000-08:00

My business partner (and friend), Hans-Martin "HEFFERNAN" (well, one of them ;-)) Vogl is even stacked with just 14 remaining in the Aussie Millions in Melbourne, with a guaranteed $90k payout. Tomorrow they start at 11am (???) to play down from 14 to 7 that will make the TV FT, bit fucking stupid if you ask me but it's the land of upside down.

I really hope he takes down, not just for the $1.5million 1st prize (of which I have a small stake) but for the fact that the whole media surrounding the event have seemingly totally ignored him, despite being chip leader most of the day. I have to admit I was amongst one of those who thought his FT was a little lucky in Singapore with right cards at the right time, but he's reproduced in one of the toughest fields ever. Compare it with the WSOP, where there's 8000 entrants, a large portion of which are donkey's and/or online qualifiers, to an 800 strong Aussie field with the best pros around the world and that is a HUGE notch on his belt. I would be shocked if Betfair didn't offer him some form of sponsorship, or at least buy him into a few extra events this year.

I lost $6k on cash last night too, so I've gotten out of jail in a big way, AGAIN. Just running bad.. though a third of all this I will contribute towards bad play and semi-tilt. I've decided I will go back to sixpaks for the time being, because I'm the master at them, even if it's a harder slog and less potential rewards, the swings aren't so harsh.

Before I sign off, I will leave you with the next potential posterboy of poker who's been tearing it up in Oz Jimmy "Gobboboy" Fricke:

Regards, JPK

Bolton Report

2007-01-14T09:23:00.000-08:00

Shit day at work is what we'll call it. No cards, raised whenever betting, and played a hand like a muppet to get KO'ed early through frustration. Good event and nice setup though, it just wasn't to be unfortunately. I ended up jamming all in on a AJ37 board only to get called by Nick Slade who'd been hyper aggressive with A3. River came a Q and there was a small gasp from the table, and I muttered sorry mate, he turns round and asks what I'm apologising for as I look at the table to see the Q brought him a flush. Hard to push someone off two pair and a flush draw.

As I got up Nick for some reason felt the need to mention that I was drawing to 2 outs as if to rub it in and criticise my play (which was incorrect, without the flush draw I had 9 and with the flush I had 6 if he called, but I digress), at the time I wasn't really paying attention as I was thinking about how badly I played the hand but later I was extremely pissed off about it. There's really no need to needle someone as you've sent them to the rail in a tournament, but I really couldn't be arsed having an etiquette debate as my focus was on finding Dubai (obviously first out of the crew) for the compulsory pissup. The TV crew managed to coax me into doing a snippet for the "Bad Beat Box" so I'm sure that will make the TV cut.

There was an abundance of needling going on during the tournament and it was really doing my head in. I'm usually quiet at the tables but if this is the way the guys want to play then I'm going to join in on the act, and trust me it's not something you want to deal with. You have been warned.

Apologies to all the guys who backed me, it was a black mark that I'll put right soon.

Regards
JPK

A picture paints 1000 words, this could get sick:

2007-01-11T17:10:00.000-08:00

Finally quit acting & odds on me for Grosvenor Tour

2007-01-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

For the Grosvenor Tour Bolton main event on Friday:

http://www.bluesq.com/bet?action=go_events&type_id=3716 - I am currently at 125/1, but if you have a flutter back EW too, obviously. I'd say I'm intrigued, rather than looking forward to this competition. We will see how it goes. In Sheffield I creamed most of the field, which had many "names" from the UK scene, but this will have all the "big guns" running (I put these terms in inverted commas as I'm really not sure if I should be putting these individuals such as Julian Thew on a pedestal, they've never outplayed me), so it'll give me a slight idea as to how my talent really matches up. I should be fine, win or lose I'm sure I'll make the correct decisions and do something ludicrous to make the TV highlights. My appearance alone is usually enough.

I also handed in my noticed as an actor. It's actually come as a huge relief and weight off my shoulders as now I don't have to make up excuses as to why I'm not available to do walk-ons on Hollyoaks in winter weather for £100 a day. They said I'm welcome back anytime and since my notice, they've actually been really friendly, over friendly really. Oh well guys, you had your chance a year ago to properly promote me and never did, so you don't realise what you have until it's gone. I meet all the top names in TV and Film on the poker scene anyway these days!

Regards
JPK

Wow, what a crazy swing

2007-01-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

Well, this weekend has been a whirlwind, that's for sure. To say I've run bad on cash the last few days would be the understatement of the century. Set over set, flush over higher flush, bluffing into the nuts, players making ridiculous calls, being chased down by ridiculous draws it's been hilarious. Actually, I can understand the rocks calling me down due to how bad I've been running. I swear, one of the regulars I play typed into chat "have you been drinking?" This due to the amount of pots I was playing (with playable hands) and folding due to missing and being outdrawn, it must've looked like I was a total lunatic. I can't even begin to imagine the times I was chased down, but it wasn't pretty.

So, on Saturday night I stared a $7500 loss in the face and a long look in the mirror was needed. I had to pull myself together so I sucked it up and ploughed straight into cash again today. Much of the same. I ended up losing just under $1000 but my play was good and I was running the opposite, there's not much you can do.

So, what do you do in the face of such adversity? IMO, this is where the strength of a person shows through. I've had some extremely tough times in my life, which I will detail in a later entry, and its given me the strength to pull through when others may not. This is the main strength of a true professional. So I decided to play the $50k Betfair Snowball freeroll that I had automatically been entered into due to my rake (I wasn't planning to before the huge loss as I couldn't be arsed). There was over 1000 entrants, so usually you would have a cat in hells chance, but tonight was different. I said before I started, that I am going to fucking win this, or minimum top 3. I played like a man possessed and was so on the money, made great laydowns, pushes, and of course, got the right cards at the right time. I got to heads up with a 4-1 chip lead but lost a 60-40 to bring him back in. I swear, everytime I had trash he pushes, and everytime I had a hand he folded. Eventually, I reraised villain all in with A9 to his AQ (I had him stacked), but a 9 on the river suddenly flushed all the bad luck I'd had away, and with it, the glory of winning a large runner MTT field and another notch under my belt. The $12.5k prize was nice too :-).

I will take a few days off now and arrange my immment move to Tampa Bay in Florida, the UK is really no place to live these days. It's not the weather or anything, but we're so fucking dull and arrogant it defies belief, Americans are much more fun and that's where I plan to spend my future, perhaps even buy an apartment (if you want to read about the state of the UK property market I suggest you read Rob's blog which is linked here).

If there's a market for the upcoming Grosvenor Bolton event (£1k buyin for C4), lump on me, I've never been so determined in my life to prove myself. No-one is getting my chips unless they hit a 1 out on the river.

Regards
JPK

Uppy Downy Yessy Yessy

2007-01-06T11:18:00.000-08:00

Been a strange few days if I'm honest, I've shown a healthy profit but I have donked off more than I really want to know. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not, since I play the same people in cash everyday, sometimes you need to mix it up. I really have made some crazy bluffs, and have been called by people who shouldn't really be calling. I'm pretty sure I made the right plays, and have been unlucky in certain areas. It's also enabled my better hands to get completely paid by hands that usually should be instant folds to the kindof raises I was making. However, I've had a few mishaps and tilted a couple of thousand pounds away, severely denting my profits, which are around $3500 so far for the month. Nothing special at $5/10, I assure you.

However last night I decided to give the Grosvenor UK Tour rebuy satellite on BlueSq a try and came out victorious. I fucking needed to, seeing as I'd donated £270 to the prize pool (the package is £1000+50 buyin and $500 expenses). This will be televised for Channel 4 so I'm sure the usual motley crew on the UK scene (Julian Thew, Colclough etc.) will be in attendance. I've run really badly live in the past few months despite some good results, so it would be nice to get a bit of "luck" (read: have fucking aces hold up for once) to go deep. I shall also be playing the £250 the day beforehand, so if anyone's around, be sure to say hi, I'm not hard to spot in the obligatory head wrap and leather jacket.

On another note, I've just booked a month's holiday to Thailand in June. My hotel has wireless internet in every room, so I decided to book the plush suite. It's costing me a tenner a night, the bankroll really took a hammering on that one ;-).

I'm going through something of a dilemma at the moment as to what to do with my life outside of poker as I have many options. Unfortunately the acting is probably going to have to be brushed under the carpet. I mean, if Coronation St. were to offer me a £50k a year contract tomorrow (in fact newbies get slightly less), I'd actually have to turn it down, so what's the point? Don't get my wrong, it's good being acquainted with people you see on TV to tell your mates about, but if it's fame I'm interested in, there's a significantly higher chance I'll get it in the poker world than acting, and it certainly isn't the money that would motivate me, I would be thinking of lost profits on poker. Acting is the only thing keeping me in the UK, since I have an opportunity to move to Tampa Bay in Florida with my mate Eric, or anywhere else I would choose to live, in honesty. I can always come back to it and it's disappointing, but it's what's ultimately going to be best, especially considering I'm going to be spending 4-5months away in 2007 AND 2008 at the very least.

Ahhhh life is tough, and I'm sure you guys have the deepest sympathies for me :-) - rambled on far more than I expected to, so I'll cut it short, and any other bloggers out there want a link-up, give me a shout.

Regards,
JPK

Oooooooh it's too big!!

2007-01-04T09:40:00.000-08:00

I finally decided to bite the bullet and buy a new monitor, with the 30" Dell on offer for a knockdown £950 I thought I'd splash the cash. I guess I never realised the thing would be fucking MONSTROUS. I mean, seriously, look at the picture, and that doesn't do it justice. Take into account my laptop is one of the biggest you can get, this thing is like a friggin' cinema screen.

You can play 12 tables at any one time on PP and Stars, whilst other sites you can fit 9 with no overlap. I can see my financial and emotional swings reaching crisis point in the near future.

Welcome, 2007

2007-01-01T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure whether to be happy or not, since the last quarter of 2006 was so productive but I'll roll with it. I think this year could be the most defining of my life and will tell me where I'm heading and no doubt it'll be either somewhere really good or equally bad. Highs and lows and all that.

I'm going to have 3, probably 4 chances at big buyin tournaments for "free", namely the WSOP 5k and 10k events, The BAPT wherever it may be (apparently Singapore will be revisited along with somewhere else, rumoured locations are Bali and Macau) and I'll probably round out the year by playing one of the Caribbean events.

I already have two months in Thailand, a month in Vegas, 2 weeks in the Caribbean and a week in the BAPT locations planned as well as a short trip to Barcelona so to say I'll be racking up the air miles is an understatement. It's a nice thought as well, after I decided to stay home for Christmas rather than go to Australia, as I've really had the worst time ever here in my local town. It just reminds why I am desperate to move abroad permanently, people here are so unfriendly it beggars belief. I'm so glad to have found poker and in particular, all the people involved in it.

I'm going to have to be patient though, my first trip doesn't come until June, then they're all sortof crammed together. I'll have a nice feelgood story coming up in a few days in regards to poker, I feel I need to be positive since I moan so fucking much.

regards
JPK

Christmas? Fuck off

2006-12-29T15:45:00.000-08:00

No happy Christmas and New Year or any of that bollocks because I think it's a huge sack of shite. To a poker player it really doesn't make a difference to your lifestyle because you don't get time off work, and getting stupidly pissed is a daily part of life anyway.

Continued my good running in live tournaments with another gem in Blackpool tonight in the £300 freezeout as I get all my chips in (a sizeable pot) with AA vs AQ on a KQx flop on flush draw for him and the turn comes a big fat QUEEN. Fuck you, live poker, they don't even need the river anymore. Anyone keeping track will remember I was cost 12 grand in the 500 in Sheffield in November after a massive preflop all in on the FT with AA vs 55 resulted in another crazy bad beat (earlier Micky Wernick managed to get A3 on my AA and also lose AK vs KJ preflop), and in Singapore I ran INTO AA with AQ near the money. Of course no fucking help for muggins there.

Good job I tilt well on Blackjack, but I'm left wondering why I've not left the casino with a 5 figure sum, because naturally, if I manage to avoid these crazy beats I would of course win.

Gonna spend the next few days getting drunk and laid, I don't give a fuck. All this and I'm $22k up this month. Fuck me, I'd be a millionaire in a month without this nonsense.

Fishy Fridays

2006-12-23T06:22:00.000-08:00

Totally fucked off this afternoon. I don't know what it is about Friday nights but I dread to think how much I've lost on them during the last 12 months. I feel like Robin Hood sometimes, maybe God is deciding it's my charity work for the week because it certainly fucking feels like it.

Stupid (probably drunken) cunts calling me down with everything and hitting, not just last night BUT EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY NIGHT. Normally, I bend over backwards to play people who call two all ins on a KQ9 rainbow board when I'm holding JT but oh no, not on Friday nights. Seriously, they don't even need the river it always comes on the turn. In future I'm just not going to play weekends, the arseholes can roll the dice against someone else.

I guess I will take a break now, I shouldn't have played yesterday but in the early evening I played an hour of $5/10 for +$1200. I really should have left it there but SOMEONE asked me if I could help with their tilt and have a laugh playing $0.5/1 Omaha on BF. No problem, $250 up in about 5 mins because the daft cunts are calling down anything until some twat called Roland (not de Wolfe obviously) decides he's going to win every single hand against me with nothing and I'm soon $350 down and ripping my hair out. I hate feeding fishy twats. Then I went and got bum raped by some donkeys. All in a usual Friday night.

2007 Goals

2006-12-20T13:15:00.000-08:00

Seen every TD&H posting these so here's mine:

*Make 100K (GBP)

And, that's it. Seriously, some people fucking tilt me with this kindof shit. They make like ten bullet points about what they want to win in each particular version of the game, what they want to develop, live & online, how many girls they want to shag.. come on WHO GIVES A FUCK?

As long as you win, just enjoy it, you are in the top 7 percentile of poker. Sure, I'll probably be going to Vegas, Asia for the Betfair tour and one or two other places, but if I don't I'll be happy being the richest ned on the estate. I might even buy some Rockports. Just SHOW ME THE MONEY BABY!

Regards,
JPK

Welcome to my blog!

2006-12-19T18:49:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

My name is Jonathan Farrer and I am a 24 year-old full-time poker player from Longridge, near Preston in Lancashire. I guess I've started up this blog as all my mates seem to have one and I'm feeling left out and need somewhere to vent when I'm a little frustrated.

I've had a pretty storied life, and always been destined to do something ludicrous for a living. At 17 I left college to run my 25,000 visitor a day sports site which was generating $1000 a week revenue. Through that I got a job working at CBS (The US cable station) at the same age and worked there until I was 19, when I moved into print, working for Highbury House in London. Fast forward two years and a failed attempt at promoting thanks to some sabotage from some pseudo-gangster wannabes and I finally found myself in a respectable job as an account manager in Lancaster.

But it wasn't enough, the 22k a year wasn't giving me the life I wanted and journalism was just, well, crap. It just so happened I was living with a (male) model at the time and he received some info from his agent about an acting school in Manchester. I immediately seized the opportunity myself and signed up, quitting my job and moving back to Longridge to pursue the idea.

As side projects I ran a small web design business as that had been my sales field of expertise, and played poker as a hobby, due to the fact my old boss introduced me to it on Friday evenings after work when the lads would get together. A few months later I was broke (due to poker) and had nothing when something strange started to happen. I started winning. Nothing big, but I was turning profits of at least a few hundred a week thanks to some tuition from "KingHawko" and "Dubai" when they were both rich, long before the "Cristal Era".

(The acting I still continue to do and I have regular extra work on all the northwestern TV programmes whenever I want, it's my failsafe. I could probably go on to do much more in it but quite frankly, the pay is piss poor and doesn't matchup to poker one iota)

At the end of summer 2005 an old adversary of mine on the tables, Hans "HEFFERNAN" Vogl spotted me playing small stakes and wondered what I was doing. A few weeks later, he offered to stake me at proper levels of poker, along with his German friend Thomas (work it out ;-))

To cut the crap, I stopped working with Thomas in early 2006 and setup partnership with Hans and we have been flying ever since, the mid-high stakes sixpak players have probably played us 1000s of times. We have recently branched out into MTTs and cash and found similar success, and several kicks to the gonads.

In conclusion, I feel I have "made it" in poker in my own definition in the fact that I have a solid bankroll and probably more cash combined than my entire council estate, which granted, doesn't mean a great deal but things are going good. I've done my apprenticeship and I'm now sortof known and respected. I don't like to shout about the sums of money I earn but needless to say, it's taking off rather well. I have just started travelling to play live as well where I've also found some success, albeit limited currently. It's really more than I ever dreamed of, but without the fame and these days, I really wonder if fame is all it's cracked upto be.

Anyway, I'm really running out of things to say now so I'll wrap it up. Oh, I almost forgot..

The "JPK" for anyone interested has only recently come about. Basically my non-poker mates were messing about on MSN one day telling all the local girls they knew that my name was JPK, curious I asked them what it meant.. apparently it stood for "Jon The Poker King". Ooooooook, pretty stupid if you ask me but whatever floats your boat.

Fast forward a few months and I'm in Singapore to play the $5000 Betfair Asian Poker Tour and I wake up looking and feeling like shit. As I trawled through my suitcase I found my shades and one of my trusted bandanas and my black coat and headed down to the poker room incognito, or so I thought. I'm treated to glares from everyone, including a "what the fuck" 30 second glance from Gus Hansen and I'm thinking oh well, non-incognito it is. Two mates of mine Chuck and Hans approach me and start asking where the Black Pearl is, "Captain Jack".

And so became the "Pirate from Preston", then-adapted to Jon The Pirate King aka JPK. Sad but true.

This is my story. Enjoy the ride, it's certainly an experience!