Show me the money!

..is exactly what I'd be saying if I was winning. As my last entry suggests things have been a tad harsh recently. The usual, getting it in mostly as 70% or more as favourite, and losing every 60/40 and coinflip (sorry, no bad beat rule is being enforced again, I'll shut up). Since my $7.5k losing day earlier in the month it's been one low to the next and I really have very little enthusiasm right now or will to grind it out. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying, but as my mate Dubai says "when it's bad, it's REALLY bad". Too right.

So, what to do? I resorted to what I usually do during such a shit spell, firstly I go absolutely stone crazy to anything and anyone in my path, then I settle down, force myself to suck it up and grind where it invariably gets worse than I could ever have hoped against beforehand. Then I get depressed and do my finances to see where I stand, always guaranteed to cheer me up. I actually worked it out, if I factor in my rakeback for the month, that I'm slightly over breakeven for the downswing. Sick eh, and it feels a lot worse. When you're used to grinding $20k a month and it suddenly comes to a halt in ridiculous fashion you're left scratching your head, and me being the perennial paniker usually blow my top in some sort of hilarious fashion. I never really mean what I say, as I have grown to learn, but it still fucks me off nonetheless.

Speaking of being fucked off, why don't the anonymous haters do just that. Don't think I don't know who it is either (all 3 of you). You really are pondscum, get a life. Lose some weight, too.

Future plans are that I will play tomorrow and Thursday, but my mate is coming to stay for the weekend so I'll probably ease off and get some perspective. Or alcohol, both work for me. I plan to travel to Walsall for the UKPT to see if I can better last time's shambles. I must mention that Nick Slade apparently told Dubai that I must've misheard him and he wasn't trying to give me the rubdown at all, so I guess I'll say hi if he's around. I've also just booked my room for the Paddy Power Irish Open in April.. so that's two live jaunts and I don't intend to make anymore within that time frame unless I get a big result that allows me to ease off the online grind. Back to work HARD on Monday, and I will suck it up whatever comes my way.

Thanks for reading,
JPK

Fuck this shit

Fuck it, I'm done, and fuck all of you shit, useless bastards that have made bullshit calls and raises and hit ridiculous runner runners 10 times a night.. fucked off, I'm off, out, done, dusted, can't be fucking arsed anymore, not worth the shit this.

Dogshit on a stick

..is the best way to describe this week. It's actually quite boring sat there clicking fold hours a day, then running into a big hand at higher blinds, just feels like a waste. I'd get frustrated but what's the point, just have to play through it and keep the losses to a minimum. Not much else to report really.

Oh, there seems to be an abundance of people all too willing to have a pop at me currently, both on and off the tables and I'm growing quite tired of it. I shall dispense of these problem matters simply by telling them to come and find the games I am in and sit down.. fucking keyboard warriors. I may just turn off chat completely, which I'm actually against even though most of the people I know don't understand why I leave it on.

Hopefully the weekend will bring more joy, but seeing as Leeds Utd are probably going to lose at Hull, I rather doubt that.

Regards
JPK

Few days off, all going swimmingly

Just had a couple of days off as I travelled to another planet called Whitehaven (maybe it was another galaxy on the outer rim) to visit me ol' mucker KingHawko. Good to get away from the computer for once, have just landed back and won £800 playing a few sixpaks so happy days.

I will continue grinding for the next few months with the odd trip to the UKPT tour, but the past two months since Singapore I haven't really worked that hard, when I really should kick on, as was my 2007 plan. After a few jaunts (that have included some wins) it's back to business, can't rely on Hans to cash big in major events every month!

Nothing more to report, except that no, I am not shagging Buzzer (people who know me will find this accusation particular amusing for a number of reasons) and in response to some of my criticism of Gobboboy at various sites online, what would you rather me call him fatty bum bum? He made a ton of donk plays and got lucky, no problem, but the way Hans suffered a sick river at that point was quite cruel, considering how much money was on the line.. so I think I'm allowed a little jibe.

Not my fault I'm not horizontally challenged and don't get offended easily, so lay off, okay?

Regards
JPK

Heff finishes 5th in Oz & back on track

Good 24 hours, as I managed to stop the rot and turn a $2500 profit yesterday, returning to sixpaks. Not much to say really, standard stuff, avoided beats, had my hands hold up and that's that. Mixture of Betfair and Crypto, though the developers need to sort out out Betfair very quickly, the thing is an eyesore, and though slowly improving, if they want my full-time business they have to make it a priviledge to play there, rather than a breath of fresh air when I switch onto Crypto.

Hans "HEFFERNAN" Vogl finished 5th in the Aussie Millions, collecting $400k for his efforts. What a performance, only stunted by that lardsack Jimmy Fricke (pictured below in my previous post) making a ridiculously bad play and rivering poor Hans to the rail in a 2 million pot. Gutting, to say the least, as that would've put him right in with the leaders and would've given him a real hope of taking it down, alas, not to be. I'm sure one of us will win a "major" in the next couple of years, though I have some catching up to do with his recent achievements!

Regards,
JPK

Hans Vogl makes Aussie Millions FT

..and what an achievement from "Da Pope". Despite being totally ignored from the press and updaters he has quietly gone under the radar and sneaked onto the FT, albeit as a short stack, here are the chip counts:

Jimmy Fricke 5,175,000
Gus Hansen 4,845,000
Andrew Black 2,100,000
Kristy Gazes 1,050,000
Julius Colman 785,000
Marc Karam 535,000
Hans Vogl 455,000

Payout structure is 225k, 300k, 400k, 500k, 700k, 1mil, 1.5mil - wow, I hope the shorter stacks make some sortof saver.....

On my front, did another 4 figure sum last night. In the space of 5 hands all in preflop, QQ cracked by 86, AA by KJ, KK by 95. Just absolutely nothing I can do, I'd cry myself to sleep, but Hans has pulled me out of the mire with his stunning performance so it's allowing me to just shrug off the worst run of my life. I guess I should be delirious about that, soo....

ALL HAIL POPE HANS THE FIRST!

Aussie Millions & the new posterboy of poker???

My business partner (and friend), Hans-Martin "HEFFERNAN" (well, one of them ;-)) Vogl is even stacked with just 14 remaining in the Aussie Millions in Melbourne, with a guaranteed $90k payout. Tomorrow they start at 11am (???) to play down from 14 to 7 that will make the TV FT, bit fucking stupid if you ask me but it's the land of upside down.

I really hope he takes down, not just for the $1.5million 1st prize (of which I have a small stake) but for the fact that the whole media surrounding the event have seemingly totally ignored him, despite being chip leader most of the day. I have to admit I was amongst one of those who thought his FT was a little lucky in Singapore with right cards at the right time, but he's reproduced in one of the toughest fields ever. Compare it with the WSOP, where there's 8000 entrants, a large portion of which are donkey's and/or online qualifiers, to an 800 strong Aussie field with the best pros around the world and that is a HUGE notch on his belt. I would be shocked if Betfair didn't offer him some form of sponsorship, or at least buy him into a few extra events this year.

I lost $6k on cash last night too, so I've gotten out of jail in a big way, AGAIN. Just running bad.. though a third of all this I will contribute towards bad play and semi-tilt. I've decided I will go back to sixpaks for the time being, because I'm the master at them, even if it's a harder slog and less potential rewards, the swings aren't so harsh.

Before I sign off, I will leave you with the next potential posterboy of poker who's been tearing it up in Oz Jimmy "Gobboboy" Fricke:

Regards, JPK

Bolton Report

Shit day at work is what we'll call it. No cards, raised whenever betting, and played a hand like a muppet to get KO'ed early through frustration. Good event and nice setup though, it just wasn't to be unfortunately. I ended up jamming all in on a AJ37 board only to get called by Nick Slade who'd been hyper aggressive with A3. River came a Q and there was a small gasp from the table, and I muttered sorry mate, he turns round and asks what I'm apologising for as I look at the table to see the Q brought him a flush. Hard to push someone off two pair and a flush draw.

As I got up Nick for some reason felt the need to mention that I was drawing to 2 outs as if to rub it in and criticise my play (which was incorrect, without the flush draw I had 9 and with the flush I had 6 if he called, but I digress), at the time I wasn't really paying attention as I was thinking about how badly I played the hand but later I was extremely pissed off about it. There's really no need to needle someone as you've sent them to the rail in a tournament, but I really couldn't be arsed having an etiquette debate as my focus was on finding Dubai (obviously first out of the crew) for the compulsory pissup. The TV crew managed to coax me into doing a snippet for the "Bad Beat Box" so I'm sure that will make the TV cut.

There was an abundance of needling going on during the tournament and it was really doing my head in. I'm usually quiet at the tables but if this is the way the guys want to play then I'm going to join in on the act, and trust me it's not something you want to deal with. You have been warned.

Apologies to all the guys who backed me, it was a black mark that I'll put right soon.

Regards
JPK

A picture paints 1000 words, this could get sick:

Finally quit acting & odds on me for Grosvenor Tour

For the Grosvenor Tour Bolton main event on Friday:

http://www.bluesq.com/bet?action=go_events&type_id=3716 - I am currently at 125/1, but if you have a flutter back EW too, obviously. I'd say I'm intrigued, rather than looking forward to this competition. We will see how it goes. In Sheffield I creamed most of the field, which had many "names" from the UK scene, but this will have all the "big guns" running (I put these terms in inverted commas as I'm really not sure if I should be putting these individuals such as Julian Thew on a pedestal, they've never outplayed me), so it'll give me a slight idea as to how my talent really matches up. I should be fine, win or lose I'm sure I'll make the correct decisions and do something ludicrous to make the TV highlights. My appearance alone is usually enough.

I also handed in my noticed as an actor. It's actually come as a huge relief and weight off my shoulders as now I don't have to make up excuses as to why I'm not available to do walk-ons on Hollyoaks in winter weather for £100 a day. They said I'm welcome back anytime and since my notice, they've actually been really friendly, over friendly really. Oh well guys, you had your chance a year ago to properly promote me and never did, so you don't realise what you have until it's gone. I meet all the top names in TV and Film on the poker scene anyway these days!

Regards
JPK

Wow, what a crazy swing

Well, this weekend has been a whirlwind, that's for sure. To say I've run bad on cash the last few days would be the understatement of the century. Set over set, flush over higher flush, bluffing into the nuts, players making ridiculous calls, being chased down by ridiculous draws it's been hilarious. Actually, I can understand the rocks calling me down due to how bad I've been running. I swear, one of the regulars I play typed into chat "have you been drinking?" This due to the amount of pots I was playing (with playable hands) and folding due to missing and being outdrawn, it must've looked like I was a total lunatic. I can't even begin to imagine the times I was chased down, but it wasn't pretty.

So, on Saturday night I stared a $7500 loss in the face and a long look in the mirror was needed. I had to pull myself together so I sucked it up and ploughed straight into cash again today. Much of the same. I ended up losing just under $1000 but my play was good and I was running the opposite, there's not much you can do.

So, what do you do in the face of such adversity? IMO, this is where the strength of a person shows through. I've had some extremely tough times in my life, which I will detail in a later entry, and its given me the strength to pull through when others may not. This is the main strength of a true professional. So I decided to play the $50k Betfair Snowball freeroll that I had automatically been entered into due to my rake (I wasn't planning to before the huge loss as I couldn't be arsed). There was over 1000 entrants, so usually you would have a cat in hells chance, but tonight was different. I said before I started, that I am going to fucking win this, or minimum top 3. I played like a man possessed and was so on the money, made great laydowns, pushes, and of course, got the right cards at the right time. I got to heads up with a 4-1 chip lead but lost a 60-40 to bring him back in. I swear, everytime I had trash he pushes, and everytime I had a hand he folded. Eventually, I reraised villain all in with A9 to his AQ (I had him stacked), but a 9 on the river suddenly flushed all the bad luck I'd had away, and with it, the glory of winning a large runner MTT field and another notch under my belt. The $12.5k prize was nice too :-).

I will take a few days off now and arrange my immment move to Tampa Bay in Florida, the UK is really no place to live these days. It's not the weather or anything, but we're so fucking dull and arrogant it defies belief, Americans are much more fun and that's where I plan to spend my future, perhaps even buy an apartment (if you want to read about the state of the UK property market I suggest you read Rob's blog which is linked here).

If there's a market for the upcoming Grosvenor Bolton event (£1k buyin for C4), lump on me, I've never been so determined in my life to prove myself. No-one is getting my chips unless they hit a 1 out on the river.

Regards
JPK

Uppy Downy Yessy Yessy

Been a strange few days if I'm honest, I've shown a healthy profit but I have donked off more than I really want to know. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not, since I play the same people in cash everyday, sometimes you need to mix it up. I really have made some crazy bluffs, and have been called by people who shouldn't really be calling. I'm pretty sure I made the right plays, and have been unlucky in certain areas. It's also enabled my better hands to get completely paid by hands that usually should be instant folds to the kindof raises I was making. However, I've had a few mishaps and tilted a couple of thousand pounds away, severely denting my profits, which are around $3500 so far for the month. Nothing special at $5/10, I assure you.

However last night I decided to give the Grosvenor UK Tour rebuy satellite on BlueSq a try and came out victorious. I fucking needed to, seeing as I'd donated £270 to the prize pool (the package is £1000+50 buyin and $500 expenses). This will be televised for Channel 4 so I'm sure the usual motley crew on the UK scene (Julian Thew, Colclough etc.) will be in attendance. I've run really badly live in the past few months despite some good results, so it would be nice to get a bit of "luck" (read: have fucking aces hold up for once) to go deep. I shall also be playing the £250 the day beforehand, so if anyone's around, be sure to say hi, I'm not hard to spot in the obligatory head wrap and leather jacket.

On another note, I've just booked a month's holiday to Thailand in June. My hotel has wireless internet in every room, so I decided to book the plush suite. It's costing me a tenner a night, the bankroll really took a hammering on that one ;-).

I'm going through something of a dilemma at the moment as to what to do with my life outside of poker as I have many options. Unfortunately the acting is probably going to have to be brushed under the carpet. I mean, if Coronation St. were to offer me a £50k a year contract tomorrow (in fact newbies get slightly less), I'd actually have to turn it down, so what's the point? Don't get my wrong, it's good being acquainted with people you see on TV to tell your mates about, but if it's fame I'm interested in, there's a significantly higher chance I'll get it in the poker world than acting, and it certainly isn't the money that would motivate me, I would be thinking of lost profits on poker. Acting is the only thing keeping me in the UK, since I have an opportunity to move to Tampa Bay in Florida with my mate Eric, or anywhere else I would choose to live, in honesty. I can always come back to it and it's disappointing, but it's what's ultimately going to be best, especially considering I'm going to be spending 4-5months away in 2007 AND 2008 at the very least.

Ahhhh life is tough, and I'm sure you guys have the deepest sympathies for me :-) - rambled on far more than I expected to, so I'll cut it short, and any other bloggers out there want a link-up, give me a shout.

Regards,
JPK

Oooooooh it's too big!!

I finally decided to bite the bullet and buy a new monitor, with the 30" Dell on offer for a knockdown £950 I thought I'd splash the cash. I guess I never realised the thing would be fucking MONSTROUS. I mean, seriously, look at the picture, and that doesn't do it justice. Take into account my laptop is one of the biggest you can get, this thing is like a friggin' cinema screen.

You can play 12 tables at any one time on PP and Stars, whilst other sites you can fit 9 with no overlap. I can see my financial and emotional swings reaching crisis point in the near future.

Welcome, 2007

I'm not sure whether to be happy or not, since the last quarter of 2006 was so productive but I'll roll with it. I think this year could be the most defining of my life and will tell me where I'm heading and no doubt it'll be either somewhere really good or equally bad. Highs and lows and all that.

I'm going to have 3, probably 4 chances at big buyin tournaments for "free", namely the WSOP 5k and 10k events, The BAPT wherever it may be (apparently Singapore will be revisited along with somewhere else, rumoured locations are Bali and Macau) and I'll probably round out the year by playing one of the Caribbean events.

I already have two months in Thailand, a month in Vegas, 2 weeks in the Caribbean and a week in the BAPT locations planned as well as a short trip to Barcelona so to say I'll be racking up the air miles is an understatement. It's a nice thought as well, after I decided to stay home for Christmas rather than go to Australia, as I've really had the worst time ever here in my local town. It just reminds why I am desperate to move abroad permanently, people here are so unfriendly it beggars belief. I'm so glad to have found poker and in particular, all the people involved in it.

I'm going to have to be patient though, my first trip doesn't come until June, then they're all sortof crammed together. I'll have a nice feelgood story coming up in a few days in regards to poker, I feel I need to be positive since I moan so fucking much.

regards
JPK